MyPUAJourney Forum

from earlier when i was an AFC I used to play the "cute boy" game. but times changed and i became a more likeable person.

this is a specific Q about one spesific girl.

I used to be an unlikeable geek, then i discovered pick up and I changed my game. One spesific turningpoint for me was when I was at a festival in 06 and there was this girl i had known for quite some time that was being hurtful. So i told her to stop, and respect me (I told her she should not be saying that to me and asked her to stop saying that). After this situation the entire relationship changed. she became much more friendly and we had a good friendship going. The huggy flirty kind.

ALL this changed today. She told me that she had broken up with her 6 year BF, then she became REALLY eager for contact. I complied.

But what I stumbled on, and i don't know what to do about is; in the period where we became friends, I was playing cute. So i had said that she and two other girls where kind of secondary mamas to me.

So she asked me spesifcly about that, and I ,umbstruck as I where, stood with the idea.

problem is: she is really cute, and i do like her.

did i screw up by putting myself in the nonesexual category?

how should i procede?

and please excuse any spelling or gramatical errors, i am not a native english speeker.

best regards Hope

i don't wanna seem like an ass but im going to lol.

specific.

as for your problem im not the best person to give advice.

i wouldn't say you screwed up entirely, however this certainly didn't help. it really makes no sense to ever imply that a girl is like your mom. that's not fun nor cute in my opinion. it's common to hear guys joke about how they're gonna adopt a girl as their little sister because it's fun and helps create a positive mood. however, this is done during the initial pick up, not later on the relationship when they've known the girl for while.

the idea you want to go for is to make it seem as if she's more into you than you're into her. in other words you want to make is seem as if she's hitting on you. not like she's your second mom. that's just weird and rather insulting. that's a sure fire way to get a girl into the let's just be friends zone. there's no flirting there, just boredom.

i have a female friend who i think is pretty hot, and i enjoy flirting with her. there's no real potential for a relationship since she's about to study abroad in the UK and i'm moving away for grad school, but i've always kept our relationship on a level involving lots of flirting, not just standard friendship. i always imply that she's in love with me and trying to hit on me. quick example, the other day we were watching some vids on the internet and she turned and slap my knee when the video was over, just a friendly gesture, but i implied she was wanting to rest her hand on my lap. not that she was acting like my mom.


you can precede by never mentioning the whole mom thing again. tease her more, become more touchy feely, and then ignore her more. don't hang out with her everyday all day. this can lead to too much comfort which can lead to friendship. let her know you talk to other girls by keeping various conversations about girls and your dating life. let her know that you are capable of getting other girls and that other girls find you attractive. lastly, when you get the chance try to imply that she's hitting on you in various comical ways. by doing that, you're following the basic principle behind being cocky/funny.

This is another form of oneititis.

Its great that you were assertive and standing up for your right for respect. Doing that with anyone, especially women, is especially attractive.

I have a rule, once a friend always a friend.

If am interested in a girl, i will go for it with her. If it does not work out, but i like as a friend, then i will become friends. I will still flirt and tease her, build comfort. But never escalate.

rhetoric is right, always be flirting, girls love it, even if they are your friends. Always be attractive. It doesnt matter if nothing will happen because she is on holiday, or she has a boyfriend.

Personally i would forget her as anything more than friendship. Maybe she is using you as a back up.

The mama thing, i would not have used. Personally, you have one mum and no one else. I would not compare her to anyone else. I normally say friends are like sisters to me. I normally say that to prevent girls getting any idea am in to them. Why? cause i can see them being attracted to me and i dont want them to think there is a possibility of us hooking up.

If you wanted the girl from the beginning you should have gamed her straight away.

canibus makes some very good points.

his last line really speaks the truth. i've had to learn this myself just recently. it's very troublesome to try to make up for lost ground. always game right away and at all times in the beginning. it's very important.

it is possible to turn a friend into something more, but it's not advised and it's quite difficult. i've read david d's view on this many times since his newsletters were always full of these kinds of questions from guys. there are a lot of guys who want more out of their friendships, but it's not advised unless you feel this girl is absolutely perfect for you. having said that, you must know whether or not this is just a case of oneitits.

lastly there is a good chance you could ruin the relationship and lose her forever. that's kind of the thing with gaming girls. you can't be afraid to lose her. you'll have to take chances that could either pay off well or leave you worse than you started. you need to figure out whether this is worth destroying a good friendship, because once/if you ever get sexual with her, your friendship will change permanently.


you're better off just flirting with her and getting good at interacting with girls and trying out the whole teasing and implying she's into you type stuff.

the real reason i wanted to chime back in today was because i just had another quick example of implying a girl is into you. i thought it was quite clever of me and wanted to share. this is the same girl whose really just a friend of mine, but either way at school in the student office in the physics department we have a pet rat. it was just her and me at the time and she was looking at the rat when the following dialogue took place:

her: he's such a cute little baby
me: awe, thank you. that's very sweet. (implying she was calling me cute)
her: [laughter]
me: although, i must say. i think it's a little early in our relationship for you to be calling me baby. you can just call me ryan for now.
her: [even more laughter]
me: however, i appreciate the compliment just the same
her: [more laughter]

i also like to imply that we're in a relationship. once we had differing views on something and i said, "that's it, we're getting a divorce. this relationship just isn't working out. you can keep the car and the urine soaked mattress, but i'm keeping the house and the dog."

it keeps our relationship fun. we know we are just friends, but we're not blind to the fact that we're both young attractive members of the opposite sex. not to mention, i use these same ideas on all girls because it helps avoid the friends stage and give me a chance to know her a little before fully deciding to take it to the next level.

thanks for some advice.

i have had some time to sort it out in my head. I would not say she is a oneitits. I'll just try to keep her as a friend, I did not think about the risk of trying to making her more than that.

and the whole extra mum thing started like 4 years ago, long before I discovered pick up. It all started by me calling one of the girls mum on accident. So I gained some girls I could hug with no excuse. Later when i did discover it I tried to use the "mum" girl as social proof, and that have worked.

thanks for all the help.

Well damn, all the great advice has already been given.

If you goofed and told a girl she's like your mom, then turn the problem on it's head if confronted about it. possible responses?

"Yeah, you're JUST like my mom... By the way, did I mention I have a HUGE oedipus complex?" <insert>

(see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oedipus_co ... us_complex if you don't know what an edipus complex is!)


Basically turn the whole thing into an incest joke:

"Yeah, you're like my mom <pause> if we lived in Kentucky/West Virginia/Arkansas." Again with the grin.

(may not make sense depending on your location)


Be truthful - in a devious way:

"Yeah, I just said that so you could hug me guilt free even though you had a boyfriend - and you did! You're such a naughty monkey!"

Depending on your balls / relationship with this girl, add in:

"Oh well, now that you're single, you remind me more of my concubine/sex slave/girlfriend/future wife."


I like to rely (or attempt to rely) on humour to diffuse any gross errors like this. Not sure if anything I've said will help out. If you want to keep her as a friend, but are curious if she's thinking differently, then just level with her honestly. Tell her why you called her your mom, and tell her you did it because she was "taken" see where she goes with it. It's possible that she's asking you why you told her that because she's into you (I know this is what you'd like to believe - you never know until you push it though) I can't see any harm in coming clean and I would consider asking her why she cares about how you think of her. Put the pressure back on her.