MyPUAJourney Forum

The purpose of this thread is to share, discuss, comment, etc. on conversations that take place on the internet (myspace, facebook, dating sites, etc.) with members of the opposite sex. Feel free to share your own stories and/or please comment on how crappy or not crappy mine are. I’ll gladly take any advice or critiques you want to throw at me.

So as I’ve mentioned in the stronghold thread, I’ve been working on some facebook game lately just for the hell of it. I used to use facebook to game girls back in the day but I stopped even though I was having rather great success with it. In the past I would facebook close girls instead of number closing them. I always managed to get a number from them without even asking for it within three messages. There was only one girl I ever asked for number from over facebook and that was after she had agreed to a social date type meet up between us and a couple of newly made mutual friends. I just said, “let me get you number and I’ll call or text you the details.” The cool thing is that she actually called me first after exchanging numbers online.

Either way the other day I met a girl in the club and decided to facebook close her. It was loud and I didn’t have a pen or paper on hand so she just put her number in my phone and texted me her name. I figured since I’m gonna be using facebook to communicate with her, I might as well talk to a few other girls on facebook while I’m at it. It’s been a while since I’ve done so and I’ve noticed I take more time writing my responses and they’re much more methodical. Having said that, I’ve actually gotten better I think.

I figured I’d share two of my current conversations that are going rather well.

This first one is a simple conversation that led to us hanging out at her place after work. I’d only talked to this girl I think twice before in person. The last time I talked to her in person my friend was with me and somehow we all got on the topic of P90X (my friend and I are doing it) and yoga. She mentioned some stuff about yoga and then demonstrated some stuff to see if we could do it. A few days later I messaged her on facebook. We weren’t facebook friends at the moment either, I just sent a message.

Usually I don’t send messages late at night. I think it’s best to do it mid-day. But I knew it wouldn’t matter in this case so I just sent it late at night. After the first message she sent me a friend request instead of me having to send one.



I thought her first response was retarded as hell and I considered ripping on her for it, but instead I just decided to be an ass like usual.

I like this one because it was simple and affective. I didn’t have to waste time. Notice how my messages are completely outcome independent. I don’t require a response for any of them, but each one presents a bit of a challenge toward her. I talked to her that day (the day of her last message) at work and then we hung out that day after work. I won’t be back at work or town until Monday though, but I’ll continue from there.

This next one is a message I decided to try out just for fun. I love to get into the technical aspect of PU, so I’ll be sure to do so here. This will be a LONG drawn out post.

A little back story: I met this girl over two years ago at a party. I was still pretty much an AFC at the time but I knew to not play the nice guy and to make her work for the conversation, although I didn’t really know how to get a girl to work for the conversation, just that you should. I hadn’t discovered this community yet. The next day I added her on facebook and never talked to her again. Recently I noticed her profile on my home page and looked at it. I noticed our mutual friends and remembered who she was. I don’t know is she remembers me though. Doesn’t matter however and in fact it’s probably for the best since I was so AFC back then.

One day I decided to just message her to see what happens. I figured, worst case scenario, she deletes me form her friends list and I move on. No real loss. The whole idea behind this opener is to just be fun and social without caring if she responds negatively or not at all. I can almost guarantee she, along with 95% of girls on facebook, has never received a message quite like this before. It’s goofy and fun and get’s her imagining things that have happened between us. If you’ve read the book the Game, you may remember the section where Mystery talks about a routine in which he and a girl pretend they have gotten married so she envisions things that help to fly through the comfort stage. This is kinda my idea here. I’m just being fun and different. Lastly note that she isn’t responding back right away. It started out where she took a few days then it became the next day. I’ve matched her pace and usually waited a day or two before responding. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m always just on facebook. However, you don’t want to wait too long or else her “buying temperature” as they call it will decrease too much.



The message doesn’t require a response, but I know of few girls who wouldn’t at least give a response of confusion. At a bare minimal they’d probably at least ask who the hell you are. Any response gives you something to work with. As you can see, I’ve baited the opener with plenty of junk to comment on. I noticed on her profile that she like the movie the Notebook, so I threw that in there. The money part hooked well enough for me to continue off of. Also I view the fact that she refereed to herself as my ex-wife as a nice IOI. Oh yeah, I realize that the part about the prenup doesn’t really make sense. You don’t exactly split money 50/50 on prenups, what yours is yours.



As you can see, my first two messages are way longer than hers. This is completely normal. Eventually you want to get it to where it starts to even out much like in a real approach. Once again I’ve baited it with multiple things for her to comment on. However I needed a question for her to answer in order to get her to invest more into the conversation.



It’s time to reward her for playing along so well thus far, so I reward her by answering her question first off. This is exactly what I’ve done here in this third frame. I also want to get her working for the conversation so I add in the whole point system. I also reward her a little more by giving her 3 points. Next I need to use a bit of a push so I say we wouldn’t get along and then move on to qualification by means of that last line. I also make sure to use her name, because everyone likes to hear (read) their own name. As you can see she’s really investing into the conversation and has written way more than I did. That’s an IOI. She’s also gone back to calling me her ex-husband and herself my ex-wife – two more IOIs.

The only problem so far is that I’m not sure if she knows the wallaby was a joke. I hope she doesn’t actually think I own one. I do want one and I’ve gotten a chance to see one and they are awesome, but I don’t actually have one lol.


At first I was completely outcome independent, but now I’ve grown to like this girl lol and don’t want to screw it up. This one’s is still a work in progress though. It’s really getting to the point to where I need to pull the trigger soon or risk losing all I’ve built up toward. The only problem is that I have nothing planed and I’m not the best at this. It’s awesome when you and some friends have parties planned to invite girls to, but I don’t right now. Let me know if you have any advice on how to pull the trigger effectively and get something real going.

This wallaby shit is getting a little old lol. I could use some help progressing this into something more serious without coming across as too aggressive. Remember I’m just trying to present myself as fun and different right now, not a guy who hits on girls via the internet. A first date is where I’ll turn up the heat.

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

This is truly awesome stuff, thank you for sharing.

I wouldn't know what to add since it sounds like you definitely know what you're doing--and that being the case, I am kind of surprised you would be looking for outside assistance as to how to proceed. It looks to me like she's totally into you, so I don't really see how you could possibly mess it up (unless you deliberately tried to, like you came out and said you barbeque kittens alive and store them in your freezer, lol ). I mean, at this point you could probably even say, come over now, I want to fuck you, and there's a good chance it would work--well, maybe not quite, but the point is I don't see how it can go wrong considering how much she seems to be into you.

I'm the last one to be giving advice, so I'm just throwing this out there--obviously the attraction phase played out to perfection, so while it seems to be cresting and maybe headed toward the downward slope, maybe it's time to transition into some comfort, with some "real" conversation where you can also make her qualify herself to you? Looks to me like you have her eating out of your hand, so once you get some comfort and qualifying going, getting the #, and setting up a meet will be pretty much inevitable. Just my 2 cents.

Btw, did you mean to post the the 1st screen shot twice (of the conversation with the 2nd girl)? It looks like something's missing.

first off, you're right, i did put the same pic twice. i'll fix that real quick. thanks for noticing, now it makes more sense.

also, i you're absolutely right. the conversation is starting to crest and i do need to transition into a real conversation now. i just sent one more message that somewhat addresses what she's said and qualifies her a bit more. it's probably the weakest so far, but at the rate i'm going, i'm not too concerned. it's not too bad but now that i've sent it i can't help but wish it were a wee bit stronger. after she replies, i'll put on here.

now that you've mentioned it, i'm gonna switch the conversation over on it's head with my next message and get into more comfort, then the number, etc, just as you've mentioned. thanks man.

perhaps i don't need advice so much as just reassurance that i'm heading in a good direction. i'm just kinda winging this stuff on my own accord, but any advice just like what you've given me is much appreciated.

sorry for this, but all i could think about was innuendos in her last response;

"I think you should bring the wallaby home....... my little hut in the woods.............. i would be an awesome caretaker"

Haha, I couldn't help but imagine the wallaby being a sexual inuendo during that entire convo.

Oh she can pet the wallaby alright, she just has to be careful when it spits.

things have gotten really side tracked with this whole facebook thing i've been working on. i screwed up a little bit on one girl but have recently recovered, i've ignored one girl completely, ignored one girl for 8 whole days, added one girl on facebook but have only texted her and not actually used facebook, and i got ignored for 6 days from one girl (she responded back and said it was because of work).

as far as the first girl in this thread, things have actually gone pretty well. however i have mixed feelings about her. when some of us first met her, we decided she'd be the perfect girl to hook our friend up with since he just got left by his fiance (she recently asked him to come back but he said no lol). i introduced the two of them and tried to help out a little but he's gonna get stuck in the friends zone if he isn't careful. i think i'll wait until he either ruins his chances or finally steps up his game before i do anything more.

either way, once things get back in order i'll update this. recently i've been too involved with girls in real life to bother worrying about facebook game.

I could really use some advice on how to setup a meet up with online dating. Im talking to a few cute girls via messages on a dating site, but I really just have no idea where to start with arranging a meet-up. Even if someone could refer me to another thread that would be great. Thanks!

As a way of meeting her you could move this thing into RL by first making a real phone call, she wouldn't call you I think bc girls think that's really scarry etc. so you would have to get her number

If you want to setup a meeting the wallaby thing in the woods is a great start, plan a date so you can search for the wallaby together, like Ok let's search together bladiebla, next tuesday?

THen after you've send it a while later, but before she's messaged you back, send a message telling her you can't make it to that specific day.

See if she comes up with another date..

If she flakes on you or tells you she can't tell her that's -2 points or that she has to make it up to you somehow.

So, here's an online exchange from the site rate my body, where I have a profile. In the past, I would just go natural game, come up with clever funny things to say, work in some attraction, comfort and try for a close. The thing I didn't like about that is it's not structured so one weak message, and the girl stops answering and you're stuck in a place you can't get out of. Also it's time-consuming.

Recently a girl opened me. I decided to try a little more structured approach but I think I wound up fucking it up anyway but let me know what you think. At first it threw me off since I'm used to being the one to message the girl, but after a boring start, my overall plan was to establish attraction by giving her value through DHV's, have her answer 2 qualifying questions, before transitioning into comfort, and "normal conversation" , then go to phone, etc. . My commentary is in [brackets] :

Her: you're cute ;D

Me: takes one to know one ; ) [returning I.O.I] How's it going in your world [she's from the state I come from and visit a lot, but I live the state she wants to move to one day according to her profile- so I was trying to frame it as "her world" and "my world" to generate interest]

Her: going well, just busy with college and work. how about you [my tactic completely not working , lol]

Me: great, thanks- busy too, music season started again so been playing lots and also started a new martial arts class. [DHV] hey, I noticed you're into flowers-that's extremely cool-except right this time of year allergies drive me crazy, so I might just blame you : ) jk [push/pull] so, now I'm kinda curious -if you were a flower what would you be and why [qualifying question -she said in her profile she wants to open a flower shop one day]

Her: why, a rose of course. It has so many different meanings, love, pain, death, healing, its just all around beautiful. Different colors symbolize different things, theres so much that can be done with them.. not to mention, im named after one.. my first and middle name is Ariana Rose.. if you google Arianna Rose, a white and pink flower will come up : } [she's hooked-excellent, so I go for more DHV and one more qualifier...]

Me: aw, those are totally the meanings I look for-and they can come up in the least likely places [returning IOI] ... which reminds me of this one time a date was a little sad about something that happened before I came to get her, so when we left to go where we were going I slowed down close by a rose bush (true story lol) and I told her to roll down the window and pick one--she did , and you're abosolutely right, Ariana-- roses are about healing : ) [DHV story] Maybe if you have a cool story about an awesome day you once had, I'd love to hear it. [2nd qualifying question] Hey, what's that again about a rose by any other name?... well, by the way mine is Josh

The tempo of our messages was every day and she hasn't answered my last message (which was a week ago) so I'm assuming the last message is where I fucked up . I have my own ideas why, but I'll put it out there -and also ask how I can salvage it. She's 19, and about a 7.

Jester wrote:I could really use some advice on how to setup a meet up with online dating. Im talking to a few cute girls via messages on a dating site, but I really just have no idea where to start with arranging a meet-up. Even if someone could refer me to another thread that would be great. Thanks!

getting a girl to go on a date without first talking to them on the phone is possible, but not the best or easiest way to do so. first off you'll want to get her phone number. there are multiple ways to do so, but i find the easiest way is to set up something, get her to agree, then say you'll call her about the details and get the number then.

setting meet ups is often difficult for me as well, but the things that work best for me are the following: if you have an event planned such as a party you can tell her she should come along because it's gonna be fun, etc.... then tell her you can text her the details and get the number. i've done similar things at school with basketball games and tail gating at football games although they were with girls i had met at least once prior. if it's a party you're inviting her to, make sure you tell her she can bring a friend so she feels more comfortable. another idea is, say on monday you tell her about a party going on saturday and you get the number. on wednesday you could try to set a meet up for either that day or thursday or something. basically in this instance you've used the party to get the number and then planned a meet up that allows for better one on one time.

if you don't have anything social planned, you can something like i did recently. i asked the girl if she had a good sense of style. then told her i needed a nice shirt for a dinner party i was going to and that she should help me pick one out. it allowed us to meet up despite the fact i had nothing planned. it also allowed for a quick, cheap, and somewhat low pressure first date.

depending on how into you the girl is, depends on whether something like that will work. this is why low pressure dates that are social are best when you're not sure.

Mr has also mentioned a nice little idea on who to set a first date that you could consider. this is useful if you need something interesting to get the number with, but aren't actually able to do it.

Contact:

first off before i address the last message, just know that if a girl doesn't respond right away, it isn't always a bad sign. we have no way of knowing what's going on in her life and there may just not be enough interest or enough time in her schedule to respond just yet. however, having said that, her buying temperature as the call it will have certainly dropped. this means that any elevated level of interest she may have had is probably now gone.

there's also typically a structure i like to follow in each message i write, although there is one girl who recently added me on facebook that i've taken a slightly less structured approach on. i think i may put some things from that conversation on here as a reference. either way my structure for each message is this:

PUSH/PULL:
REWARDS/GIVING HER VALUE:
IOIs FROM ME:[may overlap with the pull]
FALSE DISQUALIFIER: [may overlap with the push]
ATTRACTION/ PERSONAL VALUE BIT:
QUALIFYING QUESTION:
TEASE [may overlap with the push] / C&F:

i try to fill out something in each line but at the same time, make it short. it seems like a lot, but i've gotten to where i can read a message and respond in under 10 minutes while still fulfilling all points on my rubric. at first it took me a while to get some good responses, but it's almost like natural conversation now.


now to your last message. you got a little sappy here. since the messages btwn you two are short so far, i wouldn' worry about all the points i mentioned above. for instance i would of skipped the returning IOI all together. instead i would of teased and challenged her. you also mentioned how you'd love to hear a story about an awesome day she had. i wouldn't ever ask to hear anything besides a response to a question you've asked. asking her to tell a story is asking too much is isn't a challenge to her. by challenge, i don't mean something difficult, but rather something that challenges her ideals, status, etc. perhaps an example will help.

an example of a challenging question would be to respond right off the bat with: I googled arianna rose and got the website to some pornstar....that isn't you is it!? either way, last night....[short dhv story with a new topic]....[qualifying question]

or you could start off with a slight tease: rose eh? although arianna rose is quite a nice name [<-- optional IOI] i view you see more as a dandelion. some say dandelions are weeds, but i'm sure if you asked a dandelion, he'd say he's a flower. i quite like dandelions myself. either way...[same as above]



lastly to answer your question about how to salvage, id' say just reopen. i like the following message:

Oh no, you've been kidnapped! I'll rescue you. Are they feeding you? I'll bring chocolate. Which do you prefer, milk or dark?

it's funny and usually always gets a response. then just make sure your future responses are more solid.

Thanks , man- really appreciate the awesome input.

Just getting a minor point out of the way- I don't quite understand how omitting the return IOI is appropriate--in principle, desirable behaviors should be encouraged -so if she's enthusiastic or hooked, she should be rewarded to elicit more of the same going forward. That's just the way I understand it; I'm sure you have valid reasons.

But more to the point, I appreciate by the excellent outline you give, on the other hand I don't feel confident to come up with such clever , well-calibrated material---that lame-ass rose story, for instance, took me freaking forever to come up with and it really misses the mark in my opinion. (I realize anything's possible, but my gut is telling me that part is mostly what killed the attraction). So I'm wondering how to develop whatever talent I may possess.

So, what would you say is the best way to get good at this --to just jump right in and improve through practice , whatever fuck ups and blow outs come what may? It just sucks losing a girl when you're in the learning stage when I maybe could have gamed her successfully using my old natural--albeit inefficient and less solid in the long run--game.

Also, coming up with original and clever DHV/attraction/value bits and qualifying questions kind of stumps me right now (I think I'm okay with push/pull/teasing/IOI's ). Do you have any suggestions how I can work on coming up with quality material for those things such as you seem to.

Thanks again!

contact disturbed wrote:Just getting a minor point out of the way- I don't quite understand how omitting the return IOI is appropriate--in principle, desirable behaviors should be encouraged -so if she's enthusiastic or hooked, she should be rewarded to elicit more of the same going forward. That's just the way I understand it; I'm sure you have valid reasons.

i'll go ahead and address this topic first since i can explain it fairly quickly (i'm using the terms "fairly" and "quickly" rather loosely). the other parts i'll get back to either tonight or tomorrow when i have more time.

the key here is that the messages are short and they are being either sent or received each day. in cases where the messages are short and being responded to soon, you should maintain the pace/momentum or better yet build on it. once you start throwing in too many other things like returning IOIs, you start to slow things down and begin showing too much interest. by skipping it, you are able to just drive the conversation forward without delay. once she starts answering more questions and really starts investing, you can slow it down and return IOIs. i don't have a set rule of when to return IOIs and when not to, but eventually you get the feel for it. i try to treat short messages like real conversations. if this happened in real life, i would have found a good point to challenge her. however, like in my crappy second example, you can give a returning IOI, but make them short. drawn out returning IOIs show too much interest and really slow things down. it also doesn't separate you from what nearly all other guys do. you should try to come across as more of a challenge to her rather than some guy who tells her all her ideas are great and all her qualities are nice (i'm not saying you've done this. i'm just saying, that's what we in general don't want to do).


perhaps a quick little example will help out. imagine the following is a real life ,face-to-face conversation you have with a girl who opens you:
[option 1 - using a returning IOI]
her: i like your shirt
you: thanks. i like your shirt too [here you've used a returning IOI]
her: thanks....[the conversation and momentum have now died. she's not saying anything more than that and it's up to you to reopen her.]

[option 2 - omitting the IOI and instead challenging her with a comment that's sure to get a response you can work with - even if that response is short or non-verbal]
her: i like your shirt
you: i can see this is making you quite attracted to me. i must ask that you please try to control yourself. there are children present. [here you've challenged via C/F banter]

in a real conversation she may not say anything, just kinda laugh. however you now have good momentum to carry the conversation. in real life i would probably just go ahead and introduce myself and get some quick kino in by shaking her hand and teaching her a secret hand shake if her reaction was nonverbal. more than likely she would fire back with a response though.

now relating this back to messages... She knows you can't view any nonverbal response and more than likely she'll find some humor and challenge in what you've said. because of this, she'll want to respond back with something. now of course this exact conversation is very unlikely to take place on messages, so you wouldn't just stop with the response and leave it at that. this is why in my examples i mentioned throwing in a DHV story or something. truth be told, i rarely ever use DHV stories. i think i've used one once in a message.

so after the comment about her name being that of a porn star, you could soften it and then go directly into a false disqualifier. example:
"I googled arianna rose and got the website to some porn star....that isn't you is it!? either way, you seem like a sweet girl, but i fear you may be a little too sweet for me. i mean, if the world were heavily populated by clones of you, what would it be like? Roses are delicate and i'm not certain you could handle the rigors of real life."

in the last sentence i've challenged her again which adds to the chances that she'll respond back. i you feel like like your challenges are too strong, you can always tone them down by putting something like "lol" at the end so she knows you're only joking. however when i comes to C/F banter, it's always best to avoid any "lols" that way she's a little uncertain if you're being serious or just kidding.


personally i think both of my examples from the previous post and this extended one are pretty good ones. however, just came up with them as i was typing. this kinda leads into another question of yours i'll answer later, but generally i try to improve as much as i can and then go back and polish then up (a benefit to messages) before sending them. you tend to get faster and better at them if you try not to think too much. once again i'll touch on this in more detail later.