MyPUAJourney Forum

Part 1: This thread is about body language (BL). Not what body language to do in pick up or kino (although there will be some of this too), at various stages, but in general, for every day use.

Attraction is not choice. it happens, ->results (IOIs/IODs) occur unconsciously. through their BL. this is why we look for BL cues from women to see if attraction is there.

Women look and trust their feelings above their logical mind. So they unconsciously check and assess your BL. This causes instant judgements in the forms of feelings, which they act on.

Knowing what to do with your own body language allows you to get her to feel the right feelings unconsciously. thus reduce being blown out.

Naturals have good body language. They did not have to learn it, o.w. they would not be naturals. Yet they move their bodies which make them attractive. Even us guys notices it. Well you will do know when you observe others.

The question is how do they do this?

By becoming an attractive man inside thus resulting in their bodies expressing it unconsciously. Think of a time when you were in the moment and having a good time and talking to girls and girls were responding to you. well you probably had good BL then. The difference with a natural is that he does it consistently and regardless of his state.

Thus the more you interact with women, the more comfortable and relaxed you will be, the more confident you will be. your body will automatically show it in the way it moves, in its BL.

Thus learn to be confident and become confident and your body will show confidence. (or any other trait you can think of)

Women are far better at readin body language than guys.

PArt 2

Ideas of good body language - there is a lot here, you do most of this naturally any way; I will prob add some more stuff later on using different colours; excuse me if i repeat somethings:

Eye contact

- Always make eye contact

- no staring

-when blinking, blink slowly

-No darting eyes, move eyes slowly

-practice peripheral vision - notice things around you more

-When talking in a group make eye contact with every one.

- Exercise: palce hand in front, striahgt arm, then move arm to the side, and see how far your can move your arm to side without moving your head while still seeing the pen. Do this for 10 reps with both arm

Exercise: focus on the eyes, by noting the colour of the eys

-Do avoid staring, look at the whole face, you could do a triangle circuit, like eyes and nose.

-Focus looking into their left eye, supposed to build more comfort.

-Keep eyes ahead of you.

-When looking at some, or have to change eye contact to some one else, or some calls you, move you head not just your eyes, even better move your body

-never look down. If you break eye contact, look to the side.

-dominant eye contact, never look away first, with anyone. Make sure you have good posture and no nervous ticks. You could eventually smile a few seconds later, but only a quick one (1 second)

***sidenote - This can be seen as aggressive with some people. Be careful in certain situations.

-If talking one on one, make sure you do break eye contact and look elsewhere, not at the person. The best thing to do is look beyond them.

-Make sure when talking to girls, you keep your eye contact above neck level.

-When talking with girls, dont check out other women, they will notice it.

-Dont stare at other girls, that is why peripheral vision is for.

-Hold EC for 50% when not talking, 90% when talking.

Posture/standing

- Stand straight, try keep your spine straight. Chest slightly point out

-Think of a rope pulling your head up.

-Keep your stomach in - this is why working out and have good abs,keeps you standing striahgt.

-feet should be shoulder width apart, even a bit further. See which is more comfortable. Dont go to wide ow it will seem weird. The feet should be no where together.

-Exercise: you know you got your stance sorted, if you can stand in a busy street and people walk around you.

-When talking with friends, do it like women do, they face them, they are not side to side.

-when standing, putt your thumbs behind your belt, so that your fingers are point to your crotch.

-Pull shoulders back.

Exercise: lift your shoulders up as high as possible, then relax them. You could also do rotation of shoulders in both directions, and the same with your arms in cirlces, getting bigger and bigger.


arm positions and hands

- while standing keep arms to the side, especially when waiting. Not in your pockets, in front of you, not holding anything in front of you, or behind you (you not in the army - i do this at times)

-avoid crossing hands

-Arms should be relaxed

-Hands should be relaxed, not in fists

head positions

- head held high, not looking at the floor. If you must look at the floor, say for example when walking, do it from a distance, like you are surveying the whole ground, not in a jerky motion.

-Never look down, or move your head down for a second or longer, when talking to anyone

-your chin should be parallel to the floor.

-Dont tilt head up when talking to anyone, you will seem to be looking down on people.
***sidenote - this is good when dealing with bad behaviour of anyone.

-head should be in line with your spine. not leaning forward, you are not a chicken.

-Head should be straight whether you are walking, standing or sitting. Not leaning to the side, or rocking side to side.

-When listening, nod your head slightly and slowly, this shows that you are paying attention to them. No rapid head nodding.

-When some one calls you, move your head slowly towards them, no quick movements.

Gestures

-slow hand guestures

-start guestures from your waist, that means keep hands at your waist then do hand guesture from there.

-when guesturing dont do them above your chest. OW seem threatening

-Vary the speed and type of guestures, mainly keep them slow, but getting excited, using excited guestures. Just dont be excited all the time. Remember you want to be calm and relaxed.

[bSitting[/b]

- take up space when sitting. Dont curl into a ball, or minimise space

-Back straight

-keep your legs from under a chair

-Plant your feet on the ground, your soles of your feet should be on the ground fully.

-make sure you are comfortable when sitting down

-no crossing of arms when sitting. Place them on your lap, or on the back of the chair, or the side of the sofa, hands behind back (dont do this often, especially when talking with someone), keep elbows off the table

-spread your legs out.No crossing of legs at all.

-lean back, back against chair

-sit down on a chair, or on the floor (feet crossed). Dont crouch down and stay like that, it is uncomfortable.

-You can slouch, but do it in a confident manner, try keep back straight, relaxed body etc

hugging

- this is more kino, but i thought i would say a quick word.

-Go for a proper hug, body to body, not shoulder to shoulder.


Walking

- walk slowly

-Chin should not be facing down when walking

-Take bigger steps when walking

- slow down, this aint a race.

-Know where you are going and go there, walk with purpose. Go in a straight line to that point. Walk steadily.

- If something is in your way, move it. If it is a person, ask them to move (say "excuse me"), even guide them with you hand.

-swing your arms and keep them relaxed. Though not floppy

Voice (tone/volume/pitch/emotions): I will write about this in another post, this one is too big as it is.

leaning

- lean back when talk, this is similar to standing straight.

-IF the other person leans, you lean in to. Then lean back first

***sidenote: in pick up, you want to escalate physically, basically getting closer to each other, closing the distance thus lead to continual touch and the end product of sex - where you are touching all the time and you are both together as one. So you do have to get closer , but not part of your body (which is leaning) you want your whole body.

-dont lean in to much, especially from the beginning or with strangers, can seem aggressive or supplicating/needy.

-If you want to lean in, you can lean or tilt your head to her, instead of your body.

-Make the person lean towards you, especially girls.

-IF you cant hear tell them to speak louder, or leave the environment for a quieter place


Arm over girl

- colin farrell example, when put our arm of the girl, dont put it so that your hand is just on her shoulder furthest from you. Place the arm so that the fore arm (part of arm from elbow to hand) is hanging over her shoulder. So her head is closer to you, leaning in to you. Make sure you have no under arm odour.

leading a girl

- holding hands (arm over hers) so that your wrist is on top of hers, so your wrist is moving ahead of hers;

-hand on back/elbow - check out the film north by north west with cary grant. Watch how he leads his mum and this girl. he has his hand on her elbow and leads her to where ever. You could also place your hand on her back and do the same thing. dont push hard. This form of leading can be seen in place her arms in your arm too.

Kino

- Not going into detail in this one, lots of info on net

-Do social touching : arm and top of back and elbow; keep short; dont look at where you touch; good when emphasising points

Handshake

-If living in the western world, have a firm handshake, not floppy or weak; make sure your hands are not sweaty; squeeze firmly; warm your hands up before you shake someone hand -especially for girls; you can place your hands on top of the other, or place a hand on the shoulder, but only for a sec; eye contact and smile when shaking; You can also raise your eyebrows when meeting some one.

Nervous ticks

-The one that moves less, is the one who is in control

-Stop playing with hair (i do this a lot, i got hair thing going on and long hair too); stop playing pens, tapping them etc; stop playing with clothes; stop tapping feet and hands; stop placing your hands in front of your mouth - keep your hands aways from your face, if your tickllish try and ignore it, ow move slowly to relieve the itch; stop biting nails; stop twitching face; stop playing with drinks or any objects (Tearing the bottle wrapper off);stop licking, biting, or pursing your lips;

-You can always hook your thumb in your belt, to prevent it from messing about
-

Facial expressions

-This is to do with conveying emotions. Most guys are crap at conveying a range of emotions. Look at the best story tellers, they have a wide range of emoitons they can show. This is hard to teach, cause each person is different.

-Think of different emotions, list them down. Remember when you felt that way, and how you looked. Practice this in the mirror.

- You should be able to change facial expressions and do it slowly.

- The reason to know your facial expressions, is so that you can control it, this is much deeper. This is to do with emoitonal intelligence. Being able to understand your own feelings and know how to deal with them.

-Know how to keep relaxed, avoid show anger or frustrations especially when a girl tests you.

Face

-Keep your teeth loose, dont lock your teeth.

- smile genuinely when approaching anyone. dont keep on smiling that is wierd. Smile at points which you like, just like you would laugh at things you find funny. People will laugh at things if they want people to like them, thus they are out of tune with the conversation. Girls will do this as sign of attraction, they will laugh at jokes which are not funny. ALthough laughter can be seen as a form of liking someone, or relaxing with someone. Just dont laugh to get her to like you.

-Exercise: stress and lock jar -> press tongue to roof of mouth for few seconds and release -> more relaxed jar

general notes

- keep drinks or anything in your hands, too your side, instead of in front of you or near your mouth.

-This is a teaching tip. When someone is talking and you want to interupt - for various reasons e.g. she being rude, enter conversation, change topic when talking to group- rais your hand like a stop sign.

-Slow down all you movements (walk, guestures, speech etc), most men have a tendency to move fast. dont go around to slowly, but take your time. IF you see your friends waiting for you, walk your normal pace, dont hurry.

***Sidenote: There will be times you will have to hurry up - you being late, But being the man, you will not be late cause you in control. you are only late when you want to be, cause you choose to, and you accept it, and dont apologise for it.

-Breathing- breath through your diaghram. Remember to breath when talking.

-When entering a room, walk in slowly, stop at the door or a couple of feet in, and slowly look around

-When taking a drink of water, move your whole arm from your shoulders, your elbow should be up to. Dont use your wrists.

-Be the first to move when you say you are going some where, dont look back, expect them to come to you.

-If you are left alone, or told to wait or told to hold something and they will be back. Dont do it, unless they are your friends. tell them you be going around for a bit amd you will catch up with them.

-Remember to move, be animated, but not fast motions. Dont stay in the same spot or the same position for too long.

-No hesitation in any movement; No jerkiness in any movements

-Need to be smooth and direct

-Dont point out girls with your hands or elbow your friend when you see one.

-When you hear loud noises, or unexpected noises, dont be jumpy. (i have problems with this). To deal with this, be in the moment, and expect anything.

PArt 3

If you are healthy and fit, work out, then you will automatically display good BL

The best way to learn good BL, is find a role model, and practice what he does. First you got to know what he does (what i have described above). then practice it. on your own first, then with friends, then with strangers. Check the films in the followin thread. these are great role models:

ttp://mypuajourney.freeforums.org/films-t129.html

Good BL demonstrate confidence, relaxed, comfortable, dominant, positive unafraid, open, nothing to hide, trustworthy, you are happy were you are, health and fitness, strength, future sexual experience, leadership qualities etc...

If you think about the above qualities and focus on them, and improve yourself to be like that then your body will automatically do them.

You can also do visualisation (look it up). Picture what you want, in your mind vividly (look it up) as much as possible.

PUA and gurus teach us to do this, so that we mimic naturals, just the same way they teach routines and techniques to mimic what naturals say.

Learning BL from some one who is comfortable with women, doesnt mean she will be attracted to you, you could still show lack of confidence in your BL.

BL is taken in as a whole, not as parts, it is the sum of the whole which is greater than its parts. IF you have good posture but lack eye contact - this is incongruence. Just like there is a difference between BL and words that you say. Or having great eye contact, but weak voice. Remember it is the whole package which is neccessary in communicating. More so for body language, than voice than words. Make sure the body language and all of it is congruent.

Incongruence leads her to have feelings that things are off. Which leads her to feeling that you are true/not real. which leads to her feeling off. which leads to being blown off.

i have studied body lang, way before i knew about pu. So i generally do havae good BL, apart from days when am off or feeling shitty. yet my voice generally does let me down, unless it has been worked on, i need to get talkatvie first - sing, talk to myself, to talk to people, get out of my head. OW i sound very unconfident.

how to change - practice one part at a time. always practice all the time, notice when you are off. Dont think about it when interacting with women. Do it afterwards at home.

stretching, flexibility. - of your hips, legs, arms, shoulders, neck, feet.

Focus on certain situations as a whole - when siting down, when walking, when standing, when talking, when waiting, when in groups. Develop a model for this, and stick to it. Then you can add more later on for specific situations.

The best way to improve your body language, is to focus on improving your identity, beliefs, and what your focus on. Basically inner game.

Thanks for reading, and i hope you learn something and improve. This took me like a few weeks to write up. Comments as usual will be helpful.

ALPHA BODYLANGUAGE:

The Walk (sink your hips, long strides instead of short steps, walk slowly)
Deep-Eye-Contact and Smile (Subcommunicates Confidence)
Relaxed Open Posture and Legs Spread Apart (Subcommunicates Confidence)
Lean Back and Expose Neck/Nuts (Subcommunicates Confidence)
Head/Facial-Expressions (Subcommunication, Active Listening)
Animate Arms/Hands (Subcommunication)
Self-Point (Subcommunicates Confidence/You/Cock)
SideTilt-Head / Wet-Lips (Subcommunicates Interest)
Mirroring / Matching (Subcommunicates Rapport)
(When speaking it is very important to have a relaxed speaking speed)



VERBAL DELIVERY:

Tonalities (Playful Tonality, Masculine Tonality, Inflection, Impersonating, etc)
Speech Speed (Smooth, Captivating, Relaxed, etc - don't rush it)
Controlled Pauses (Builds Suspence, Anticipation, Curiousity, etc)