MyPUAJourney Forum

So for those of us who are not naturals, before we started working on ourselves to improve our lives with regards to relationships with the opposite sex, I think it would be a given that if a pretty girl who seemed really cool wanted to be our girlfriend, we would jump into the relationship quicker then Oprah into a bucket of Ben and Jerry's.

Then as we started taking action and noticed "Sh*t, I'm really getting good at meeting and having women start chasing me", we became a little more picky.

Now, for me anyway...the double edge sword comes in that because I know I can have *almost any girl I want (Nobody can pick-up any girl as most aren't worthy of your time) the trouble comes in that when I do meet a good one, I can't settle down because I'm always thinking "what if there's beter out there", and this is inspite of how hot or how amazing the girl is.

I've ran it over and over in my mind..."settle down when I'm 40, 50 maybe?" "But what if I pass up an amazing woman that has the potential to be wife material?" "Just see girls forever with no strings?" I don't know yet...

Anybody else feel this way? Like no matter who you're with you know that you're now good enough to get with most girls, and what if something better comes along...but you think it with every girl?

Good problem to have though I guess...

One thing that becomes apparent as you become better and better in this game, is that most of the fun happens when you experience things for the first time with a different woman; be it kissing, dating, sex, or whatever. They are all exciting because they are things that you haven't done before, and your body's anticipation actually makes these acts more enjoyable. And everyone thinks about that "what if" for the same reasons I listed above, that "unknown". It is exciting.

Once you've already done something with a girl, then it is old news. It doesn't hold the same "unknown" factor that it originally did, and therefore it also doesn't hold the same excitement. Most people that end up in relationship do so out of compromise, and then call it love.

As far as knowing whether or not a particular girl is worth forgoing all other girls to be in a relationship with, that is something you have to decide for yourself.

I would caution you if the women you are with know how good you are with other women. As Jack has mentioned before, it feeds their ego if they manage to land a guy who is a ladies man. Make sure that the women you are thinking about starting a relationship with are out for more than some silly ego boost.

ok, first of all:

"we would jump into the relationship quicker then Oprah into a bucket of Ben and Jerry's"

That's some funny shit man!

Second, for me (and I squarely fit into the model of a man you've described), the realization that "there's always something better" was kinda cathartic, but in the opposite reason you mention. Yeah, there's ALWAYS going to be someone "better" out there. Therefore, I found myself back at square one realizing that I still want a woman for partnership/companionship, the way she can enhance my life, etc. But I noticed a few qualifiers that were now lacking in my list of wants. Superficial wants like: Sex and Looks were gone from my descriptors. By realizing "Yeah, I can pick up pretty much whoever I want." (as you pointed out, within reason and chance) I found myself judging the woman I would select based on principles that really matter in the long term, vs. shorter term advantages a woman may have - like looks, which fade over time. Because I no longer viewed her as "the prize" but instead viewed us as equals I feel I can "settle down" a lot easier, because I know that the woman I select will be just that - the woman I'VE SELECTED vs. the woman who agreed to be with me.

I find the whole reality of PU to be something that has empowered me and shifted my thinking about women in a good way, that honestly is probably better for myself and the women I select.

Good posts, especially qixsilver's. I think the title's interesting.

Thai_Kru it seems like you don't know what you want out of "the game," at this point in my life I want to have "no strings attached / just having fun" type relationships but I dare say in a year or something I will want to have boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.

It just depends what you want out of "the game" it sounds like you're a bit confused as what you want. I think anyone involved in this scene should get good at it before having any serious relationships so that they forge good social circles and skills so that when the relationship ends they don't end up back at square one.

You don't really have to be as conscious about making the decision of what you want out of "the game" right now (well sort of) you could be in that "no strings fun mode" then come across a girl that you feel really compatible with, maybe yous have commonalities in health & fitness, she's really attractive, she has a good personality and laughs at your jokes, listens, talks, etc, then maybe you "switch modes" for this girl because she's an uncommon catch (it depends on who you are and who the girl is), ya'know.

Qixsilver makes some really good points too.

@Iamtheprize

Good points, i have to disagree about not making a decision about what you want.

As a man, a masculine man, an alpha man, someone that attracts women, for what ever reasons, you need to be a leader. You could say being a leader and a man are synonmous aka the same.

Bein a leader means, you make decisions. What are we told when gaming girls is to make decsions, act as if, take the decision in asking for numbers, where to go on dates etc. If she doesnt like it she will say.

@ everyone else

There will always be some one better, no one is perfect. The problem is that they will never be any one perfect for you and thinking that the next one will be perfect is silly.

IT comes down to standards, screening and qualifying her explicitly but more improtantly through observation of her behaviour. kinda like shit testing her.

Sorry if my post was a bit confusing, what I meant is it's important to make decisions but your decisions can be dynamic, if that makes sense...

I'm certainly not at the point where I can say I'm capable of getting any girl I want, even within reason. I've still got a ways to go. What I can say, is that I posses the know-how and about 75% of the confidence I need to do so. The other 25% of the confidence I need to be truly great will come from competence and competence comes from practice. In due time, I'll get to the point I aim to be at.

I'm old school in my views of life and love, so from the very onset I decided that I would get into game to find true love. I'm not ready for a serious relationship yet, so I have fun with the girls I meet now and use these short term flings as a chance to learn and grow. I go out and practice game so that when I'm ready for something serious and I happen to see a really beautiful girl, I'll have both the confidence and competence to approach and succeed. Plus on top of all that, I enjoy it, it's fun. Also the amount of self improvement I've seen in myself is a great feeling.

Just like some of the guys on here have already mentioned, there will indeed always being someone (or more likely something about someone) that's better than the current girl you're with. If you go around comparing girls to past girls, I can promise you, you'll never be happy. Especially if you haven't truly gotten to know the new girls. You can't compare a girl you've known for 2 days to a girl you dated for 2 years. Like a couple guys have already mentioned, you've just gotta set standards. what are the things you look for in girl. If she meets all or at least nearly all of them (depending on how high your standards are) then that's what matters. Just don't go around comparing girls to other girls. I've done that in that past and it's a stupid thing to do. A majority of the time you just end up passing on a great girl just because you've got some sort of lame ass oneidus (sp?) thing going on.

At the end of the day though, it all depends on what you want out of getting good at game. And I think it's something we should all ask and answer for ourselves in order to have direction in our quests. If you're not wanting to settle down, then I suppose having the view of "I can do better" or "what if there's better?" isn't so bad. but if you want to start something serious, set your standards, truly find out if a girl meets them, and be happy with that.

canibus1990 wrote:@Iamtheprize

Good points, i have to disagree about not making a decision about what you want.

As a man, a masculine man, an alpha man, someone that attracts women, for what ever reasons, you need to be a leader. You could say being a leader and a man are synonmous aka the same.

Bein a leader means, you make decisions. What are we told when gaming girls is to make decsions, act as if, take the decision in asking for numbers, where to go on dates etc. If she doesnt like it she will say.
.

Making a decision as to what you are after is always a good/positive thing. But still, no matter how much direction you have sometimes you can get pulled aside on your quest and down a side path. I personally have preached many times that I do not believe in relationships due to the amount of control included in them. That I do not believe we are supposed to give someone else control over us, or a key to our emotions. And yet even I was sucked into a relationship recently.

Said relationship is over and done with, it lasted near 3 months. I learned a lot from being in it, a lot about my self! Stuff I probably wouldn't have learned or even been consciously aware of had I not already learned all this information about women prior to getting into the relationship. That being said, as always I had a great teacher! She was absolutely insane. The most psychotic girl I had ever been with. I've concluded that I just attract psycho's. Perhaps I do it unconsciously, but I do find something about them intriguing and interesting. This psycho in particular I met at the local strip club. I should have taken that as a first sign of craziness. But I know by now not to judge a girl based on her profession alone. This girl was so crazy that at the end of our relationship when I walked away telling her it was over, she chased me down the street wielding a bicycle in hand which she proceeded to throw at me. She missed, the bike went on to hit a car on the road. She then ran at me punching violently and screaming. Mid day, children everywhere, outside of a convenience store.

That's not even the half of it, but I am getting off topic slightly here! Hahah, my point is although they say you should KNOW what you want out of life, or "this game" as popularly referred too, sometimes it's okay to go down a side road even if it wasn't what you initially intended. You can sure learn a lot of stuff about yourself you never thought you knew. I for one know I am not nearly as rigid in my thinking as I once was. I can now see things in a more relaxed way. I learned about several qualities I still have, or have acquired, which could use some general tweaking or further exploration into.

I wouldn't have learned any of these things had I kept on my road and not wandered down a side path, even if it was just for a few moments!

My game certainly has had a lot of side quest, when I thought initially all I had to do is follow this routine and bam women will come... no no no.. First I had to learn to open, after that attract.. number close and etc. This shit is definitely a process, my motivation is to become as attractive as my natural friend but I wanted to handle my women better than he does..