MyPUAJourney Forum

I think that the only way I'll stick with this is by documenting my outings. In the drift/racecar world we called this a build thread. This is my PUA journey thread.

Tonight started off shitty. I've been fighting a cold for the past week due to the below zero Chicago weather. Let's just say I sound like a mix of Kermit the frog and Peter Griffin from Family Guy.

Started off by picking up wingman Bob, from work. We initially had plans to go see a live band perform at a local bar. However, upon arrival we noticed the place was standing room only and full of a bunch of old farts (35+ crowd). We said fuck it, and walked down the street to a local restaurant/bar and got some quesadillas. Opened up the waitress and convinced her to pull some strings in the kitchen and get us some food (kitchen closed 1/2 hour prior to our arrival). There we met up with fat Joe, who suggested we head over to a local bar/club.

I walked in with the biggest fuckin grin on my face ever. Just smiled at everybody and pretended we were having an awesome time. Unfortunatly, I got stuck in fat Joe's group of fat friends for awhile and before I knew it, it was almost closin time. Our waitress was kinda cute, and was currently folding napkins a couple tables down. "Fuck it, I'm getting her number" shot through my head. Convo went like this to the best of my memory.

Me: "Sorry to bother you guys, but since you guys work here, I need your help in settling an arguement"

3 waitresses folding napkins: "Sure whats up?"

Me: "My buddies over there (points to our table) were having an arguement over whether that fireplace is real"

Waitress #1: "Oh yea, it's totally real, don't stick your hand in there otherwise you might get burnt"

Me: "Haha, good advice! I'll try to remember that one, so how'd you guys get stuck folding napkins anyways?"

They BS about it for a lil bit then grab their respective stacks and disappear leaving me with my "target"

I let her bitch about how work sucks some more, then steal her glasses. I'm playing around with her for awhile, finally give her the glasses back. At this point I find out she's an aspiring ballerina and pull the old show me a move on her. I asked for her hand and spin her around into the seat next to me. After talking to her some more, I give her a hand loading up the rest of the folded napkins. As she's about to leave, I'm thinking in my head it's do or die!.

Me: So I know you get this all the time, being a waitress and all, but you seem like a really down to earth person and I was wondering if I could get your number.

Jenny: I really don't give it out, but how bout you give me yours and I'll text you.

Me: Considering you don't even have your phone with you I call BS

So I hand her my phone.

Me: Put your number in, I promise I won't stalk you or anything. I'll just send you some random crazy txt messages some time.

She puts it in and scurries away with the napkins.

I got back to the group and declare that it's time to go. I grab wingman Bob and start heading out but bump into Jenny right before the exit. I smile and say I'll cya later, give her a hug goodnite and take off without looking back.

Get in the car and start heading home but halfway there, Bob and I decide the night is still young, we pop a U turn and head back to a different bar, where we meet to HB8s. I'm ready to pass out and I'll continue this one in the morning.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

quick points:

if you are already there, even if the people are older, you can always get talking, building up some social proof throughout the place. get you in the talking state, hear some latest gossip etc.

Who is fat joe??? the rapper ??? or some friend?? Personally i would not have stuck with him. Especially since you had a wing. you should have gone in left him with pretense of going to toilet.

It was goood that you came in and smiled as you entered the club. You should also, stop at the entrance, and scan the club, then start pointing to people, as if you know them. Then start talking to the first person you see at the entrance, and go around the whole club, talking to everyone, leaving the hot girls to last. then go back to your friends and have a blast.

that interaction wiht the girls, was goood. you did well to talk to them. most guys wont.

personally, i would never introduce my self, by saying sorry to disturb, it is saying you are not worthy of them, and you are asking for permission. you got to think are they worthy of talking to me, cause i got the personality which is worth it. no man asks for permission, the do, they lead.

Good thing with the phone number, but i feel it would flake, for various reasons, not enough comfort, not enough soical proof, etc.

good that you left after you got her number, doesnot show you are needy.

this is very David deangelo.

You missed a golden opportunity with her response to fire about getting burnt. you could have started flirting hard core with that. With subtext of her character being fiesty, hard to get, cant handle her etc.

I dunno Cani, the number may not be a flake, She may have been shit testing him, and he didn't bite. I'll be curious to see if you can make anything out of this? You mentioned you were tired at the time of writing, so I'm sure we didn't get every detail.

I'd consider calling her and leaving a message - or speaking with her - and teasing her with something about how you have a desperate need for a high quality napkin folder, and you thought of her first. This will hopefully help ensure that she recalls who you are - unless you have something more concrete from your interaction with her?

Overall, props on picking up a hired gun. I used to wait tables, and these girls DO get hit on all the time, the fact that she gave you her number (presuming it wasn't a fake) says a lot about how impressed she may have been by you.

Always smile in a way that says this is too good to be true. I'm tdrunk. I can't explain, but it works.

I figured I'd text her tomorrow to see whether the numbers a flake or not, either way I'm glad I managed to finally grow enough balls and start going up.The first 2000 approaches don't count anyways lol.

So far I think I've met more people in the last 2 months then the last 3 years combined.

ninja edit: Can anyone recommend any materials on how to keep conversations going. I've noticed that after about 10-15 minutes in I start running out of things to talk about.

you shouldnt even be talking for 10-15 minutes, unless its a date... but try making it a 5 minute or less number grab, or even less but as for date, why talk? just keep making out mannnnnnnnn, haha not really but.. try to transition your conversations more, speak what comes to mind, depending on your scenery, build comfort, then move into the personal area where it comes to valuing yourself a bit more, such as your experiences in your past etc..

@notion: there has been a lot said about talking to women for how long to make a solid number close. Personally, you want her to be interested and attracted enough, and built some trust so that she will come and meet you again some other time. The number is just a way of making sure that happens. i believe you got to push interaction as much as possible. go on instant dates, start qualifying her, make her comply, building comfort.

although people like Deangelo, says get in and spend three minutes small chat and get email. then correspond through that until you get number then meet up. personally email should be the last resort, that along with face book/ myspace.

@mr rogers: you can not run out of things to say, if you are having a normal conversation, and she is investing, the more she invests, the more baits/hooks she will give you to talk about different topics.

@qix: you are right. You never know when a number will flake until you get it and you phone up, and whether at the end of it all talks to you on it. I would have sent her text message with call back humour first, the next day. as she is hired gun, and would find it hard to remember everyone she talks to. Have a quick text convo, not more than 3 from you. then call her and chat a bit a couple of days and chat for a few minutes. later on call her and arrange a meet up.

@mr rogers again: You said she talked about how worked sucked. never let her bitch about shit. it brings the energy down, make her feel sad etc. You got to lead the convo. talk about positive things. as waitress, she must have loads of things to do, but she found time to talk to you. which means she was interested. how long did you talk to her??

canibus: With the waitress chick I was in and out in maybe 3-4 minutes. I think I did a good job leading the convo.

Regarding the conversation question, I meant more along the lines of keeping it interesting while building value. In other words, what to do when you reach the point where the thread ends. I think it was Mystery that said you should start multiple threads and revert to them throughout the whole convo.

Just got back in and I had a damn good night. The whole goal was to get rid of as much AA as possible and mission accomplished.

Went out again with wingman Bob, decided to go to a club again and it turned out better than expected. I challenged Bob to the old find a Jessica game. Basically, walk around and find someone named Jessica and introduce them to your wingman. If you find one the wingman buys you a shot.

I combed the club for a good 3 hours and didn't find a single Jessica but met a shitload of new people. I can safely say I must have opened more the 40 people. Made small talk, shot the shit, even added a few more contestants to the find a Jessica game.

Strangely enough, Not one single person in that whole club was named Jessica . By the end of the night I could tell that my DHV was through the roof, a couple people even asked me if I worked there, ran the place, which was a major confidence boost.

I didn't get any numbers because that wasn't my goal. I did however get a few chicks myspace/facebook including the bartenders. My pocket is literally stuffed with URLs on napkins lol.

Overall, I feel great! AA is definatly at a minimum, I feel like the fuckin man!

PS:
After the club closes don't go to the casino down the street. I was up $33 playing slots, but left $73 in the hole

PPS:
regardning Jenny from last week

Find the Jessica sounds like a really good game to play in the clubs

Well you had fun, i got to try that game. thats the thing i would do at a club/bar, cause its fun. I dont really game at clubs, just have fun, and if a girl shows she is worthy, than i give her a chance.

Shame about the flake, it happens. at least you got her number. If you want you could call next week, leave message, tell her "you playing hard to get already. "

LOL! Mr. Rogers! How did good ole jenny flake on you? did she give you a bum number? or just was a dud on the phone and disinterested in hooking back up?

The Jessica game sounds fun! pretty decent opener too really. I don't know if it would be bad to open and let the group in on the bet even. It's not like it's screwing with anyone, after all.

qixsilver wrote:LOL! Mr. Rogers! How did good ole jenny flake on you? did she give you a bum number? or just was a dud on the phone and disinterested in hooking back up?

The Jessica game sounds fun! pretty decent opener too really. I don't know if it would be bad to open and let the group in on the bet even. It's not like it's screwing with anyone, after all.

When I texted her i borrowed your idea about the professional napkin folder. Thanks BTW

OMG! My buddy just opened a restaurant and needs a proffesional napkin folder

Me: OMG! My buddy just opened a restaurant and needs a high quality napkin folder. When he said that I immediately thought of you lol. LMK if you're interested

Jenny: Ha ha very funny ... ps who is this?

Me: Aww you forgot already :-/ I'm hurt... Tell ya what, I'll give you 3 chances to guess. If you figure it out I'll forgive you

Jenny: Erm. . . hint?

Me: hmm... well there were lots of awesome people around.

Jenny: another clue pleeze

Me: ... 3 days ago...

And that was it... No response after that. Either it was a fake number or who knows. Its funny tho, It's only been 2 weeks and I already forgot what she looks like, just seems like a fuzzy memory. Weird...

well that txt convo was going good, lots of fun, mystery.

The line"hmm.. lots of people around" I would not have used that, why, she meets lots of people all the time due to her work, she aint going to remember you, she is a hired gun, knows lots of peole and sees lots of them. plus if she gave her number to some one she did not like, she could associate that to you. Or maybe she did recognise it was you and did not want to talk.

then adding 3 days ago, was not a great hint. she met loads of peole 3 days ago. here you could have described yourself in detail but in a funny way. like "the fun sexy guy, who you were giving a private ballet dance" or something better.

OR you could have completely ignored that question of who you are, and talked about something else (idea of controlling and leading the interaction, assuming she knows you and just playing). like "cute, i need to know how ways you can fold a napkin and can you make napkin swan?"
IF she really didnt know you, she would ask, then just tell her.

You could have said something to diffferentiate yourself that you did in more detail. Like talk about her glasses that you were messing about. be more concrete.

Personally i phone up straight up, then talk (humour, story about something odd that happened that day, tease her about something) and phone agian a couple of days later and set a date.

well that txt convo was going good, lots of fun, mystery.

The line"hmm.. lots of people around" I would not have used that, why, she meets lots of people all the time due to her work, she aint going to remember you, she is a hired gun, knows lots of peole and sees lots of them. plus if she gave her number to some one she did not like, she could associate that to you. Or maybe she did recognise it was you and did not want to talk.

then adding 3 days ago, was not a great hint. she met loads of peole 3 days ago. here you could have described yourself in detail but in a funny way. like "the fun sexy guy, who you were giving a private ballet dance" or something better.

OR you could have completely ignored that question of who you are, and talked about something else (idea of controlling and leading the interaction, assuming she knows you and just playing). like "cute, i need to know how ways you can fold a napkin and can you make napkin swan?"
IF she really didnt know you, she would ask, then just tell her.

You could have said something to diffferentiate yourself that you did in more detail. Like talk about her glasses that you were messing about. be more concrete.

Personally i phone up straight up, then talk (humour, story about something odd that happened that day, tease her about something) and phone agian a couple of days later and set a date.