MyPUAJourney Forum

Mr is right. Cheers for the story. All these tactics don't go away once you've got the close (number, kiss or sex) you have to keep everything up and chances are, if you do a good job it'll happen again. If I play it right I should be able to get a regular thing out of this

i kinda hadmy first cold approach daytime pickup the other day.

i had meet some friends, and we had taken a beer out in the sun on some stairs at my uni. they had some plans, and had to leave before i finished my beer. so i looked around and there was 3 groups of people, one of them was 2 cute girls with a beer each.

so I went over and said (lamely) "my firends just left and i still have beer, I can't go into *bar-name" with this. So ill talk to you for a while, you look like fun girls"

I stayed for 10 min and told them they where cute and to give me the numbers. and left

Looking over some University Life magazine whilst at uni there is a little question section where you can write in a question in regards to uni life.

Came over one question where this guy was basically saying that he liked this girl in his class and occasionly made eye contact with her. He said he knew her full name from facebook and was wondering by knowing all this if he was a stalker. Whether you think he's a stalker or not doesn't really matter (the answer claimed that he wasn't a stalker, but an admirer). The answer in this magazine was to go up and approach her but also gave him an alternative. They said that if he's too nervous to go up to her that he should add her on facebook but with an accompanying message attached with it. Something along the lines of" "Hey xxxx, Im the guy with the baseball cap and jeans that smiles at you in the library. Do you want to grab a coffee (whatever activity) sometime?"

Obviously there are better ways to ask someone out but do you think that this idea has a bit of merit to it?

Personally? no way. What value does an email from a random stranger give her? It shows that he's a submissive man who is afraid to talk to her. If she's new to town and really hard up for friends, I can see this working, but I know far to many women who carry pepper spray that have tons of friends. The message? "I'm alert to staying out of dangerous situations, and I have a lot to do in my life." I mean sheesh, if he feels like a stalker, what does she feel toward him?

Maybe I overestimate the desire for "a mysterious stranger" in a girls life, but I'd think he's most likely to get a rejected friend request, and a woman who now thinks of him as creepy. If he likes her, he should man up and talk to her - he'll have to if they ever get coffee anyway right? so he should man up and do it now.

I asked this girl I had been talking to a bit to hang out and she invites me over to her house. I've only hung out with her once before this and talked to her on phone/aim a little so this is pretty much like a day 2.

What do you know her whole fucking family is home. mom,dad,sister and her sisters boyfriend. later in the night i swear her mom and dad talked to me for like 2 hours in the kitchen about random shit. So yea i think this chick is really digging me and I've been kinoing all night and we have been in deep conversation for awhile. I go for a kiss close and boom she turns her head on me. I was shocked because i thought i had it in the bag. It was late so i left.

so what would your guys next course of action be. This chick is my type so i just don't want to give up.

jaffy - i agree with qix on this one. i personally feel that you should never try to request a friend and ask them out on a date on facebook at the same time. it's too much of a request from a complete stranger. i also personally feel that sending a friend request without ever talking to the person is a bit of a bad move unless the two of you have some mutual friends or something to give you justification.

if the guy is really nervous, just talk to her for about 30 seconds one day and then finish by exchanging names. then you can add her on facebook. this is still weak, but it's far better than not having her know you at all.


chosen - it's a good thing you went for the kiss. i personally feel you should always go for the kiss at the end of the date. this lets her know you're not a pansy and that you're not looking for a mere friendship. she now knows you've got some balls, you like her, and you aren't just looking for a female buddy.

the best line of action is just to keep at it like you have been. don't ever for a second act as is you are phased by the kiss denial. it happens, who cares? the main reason she probably turned her head was because you were at her parents place with the whole family there. even if they weren't able to see you guys, it's still not the best environment for something like that. it could have been a mere comfort issue, not necessarily with you, but with the situation at hand. it's hard to pinpoint the exact reason without knowing every detail, but what i do know is that it means nothing.




either way guys, my buddies and i are heading down town tonight to a good club. hopefully i have a good field report for when i return to the forums. i've got a lot of new stuff i've been wanting to practice on.

everyone have a safe and prosperous weekend and holiday for us americans.

laters

i've got a fairly good field report to post, but i'll do it tomorrow since i've got many things to do tonight. lots of fun. hopefully i can remember all the things that happened when i get around to typing it up.

so yea this chick from work gave me ioi's for awhile so i finally asked her for her number when i could finally isolate her. We talked and went out for a day 2 movie and dinner went well lots of kino and overall it went well. i talk to her on and off for the week. so today she invited me over her place to watch a movie, she lives alone in her apt.(also I'm 20 and shes 25)

This is where i don't have much experience yet so the nervs kick in a bit but i did a good job transitioning and was kinoing a lot. I think i waited a bit to long to make my move so basically what happened was i ended up running into LMR. I wasn't prepared for it at all i actually forgot all about it because i never got this far. so we just ended up cuddling, i knew i needed to freeze out and say something but i froze up.

I just need some pointers on what to do next, i know she wants a relationship and that's what i want too. How do i tell her this because right now she probably thinks i just want sex when i don't. I'm just not sure what to do next, keep talking to her? or take her out again? I should have told her it was ok and that i didn't mind but i'm sure it's to late to tell her that now right?

overall I'm happy that i made it this far i just need some pointers =]

***Chosen

Relationship

My advice on the relationship (R/S) Dont mention it. dont even talk about it. Well only if you do role plays. Do not bring up any serious conversations about it. This is the same as talking about how you feel for you. What you should do is wait let it occur naturally. Which means, until she mentions it or wants it. This can take anywhere from 2 dates to three months or more.

you should date her, have fun, always escalate. Have sex, escalate emotionally - share more feelings about things and past experiences, get her experiencing more drama, do different experiences together ;escalate with trust - tell more about each other, escalate with time - spend more time with her, escalate with qualifying - find out more about her and compliment her on it ;

she will probably bring it up like - "where's this r/s going?"; "Are you seeing anyone else?"; "Whats going on between us?" ; "Are we an item?": "is this more than sex?"

you can tease her about this, but if she is serious, then tell her where you stand - if you want to be in r/s or you want to just date, and let her make her own mind up. IF she wants a r/s, i get serious and set my rules and expectations between us, if she wants to join me on my journey.

Always wait for her to tell you "i love you"

LMR

personally, i always follow " 2 steps forward, 1 step back". so she gets used to me increasing escalation and wnating more. IT also test her whether she is ready or not.

If I am kissing her, i would stop first, maybe tease her about her going to fast.

If i feel she is tense, or not comfortable, pushing away, etc, i would stop and do something else.

Or i would tease her more, like instead of kissing her, i would do an almost kiss - getting real close to her lips and not touching, or i would smell her neck and hair with out kissing her.

If she resists, say "i understand" even tell her, her own fears - "we are going way too fast, we should slow down." Give strong eye contact, and start again - if she is relaxed. dont escalate further, but start where you were before. if she says no, then stop and do something else, be cool with it. she is just not ready. Just dont beg, or get angry/emotional.

Other things to say: "i understand, I am attracted to you, but we are just getting to know each other, we can wait"

You can do other things when you stop like watch tv, talk, play a game, without getting sexual. dont leave, that will show that you really are after her for sex, and all this getting to know her was a lie.

A good tactic i use, is while making out, i would say i have to leave, or she has to go, cause i got to get up early in the morning. This sometimes brings out the beast in her, other times she just shocked. But it builds up her wanting me.

Main point is to make her comfortable and relaxed, but always escalate, keep advancing. Stop and get her comfrotable and advance again.

the only times you will not able to advance is due to logistics, or her not trusting you enough - basically didnt build enough comfort with her.

Thanks for the quick response! I will consider all your advice you're a life saver.

Chosen -

first off, that's spot on advice from canibus. he's pretty much covered it.

overall, you didn't mess up really at all. i applaud your efforts and doing as well as you have. being one on one at a girl's place to watch a movie can become somewhat dull and a little awkward if you're not escalating early on. the longer you wait, the more awkward it may be later on.

at least it got the point where you were indeed cuddling. that's light years ahead of simply sitting at opposite ends of the couch. generally you'll want to start this right when y'all first sit down to watch the movie. reason being is mainly because that first move can seem like miles away when you've been sitting there apart from each other watching a movie. best to start before it even begins.

the more you escalate without pushing for or suggesting you want sex, the better. this goes right along with the 2 steps forward one step back or the push pull method, reel and release, whatever you want to call it. they all apply here. the idea is to escalate to the edge of her comfort zone without exceeding it. her reactions and body language will tell you if you're going a little too far. best bet it to start with small kino and deep but nonsexual conversation. perhaps a little qualifying thrown in for good measure. either way, once you reach that comfort zone edge, you back off - stop the kino. now she's realized that you're conscious of her comfort zone and didn't cross it. this usually causes her comfort zone to increase. so, you do it again. now her comfort zone allows for more kino, so you push it a bit further, then stop. repeat as necessary.

then just follow what canibus said and you should be set for your next encounter.

Alright, I know quick make outs aren't that big of a deal but they are still kind of a big deal to me. So i figured i would post what i did to get a super quick make out with a pretty cute chick. I basically opened direct and fried her circuits.....

I am walking out of the greektown casino at 4:30am tired as hell when i see a mexican cutie deluxe walking right at me. I spring into action! I jump directly in front of her and say with super high energy:

PPP: you're absolutely adorable!... i think i' m in love with you..... come here (claw).... we are getting married...right..NOW!.....Are you a good cook?
HBMEX: The best!
PPP: Awesome! i bet you cook the best chinese food!
HBMEX: HAHA..I'm mexican!
PPP: Perfect. I love mexican food! Do you make good tacos??
HBMEX: of course
PPP: good.. now that we are married you are going to make me the best tacos!!!....OMG....this is crazy.... i can't keep my hands off you! you are too fucking hot. give me a kiss on the cheek.
HBMEX: (moves into kiss me on cheek)
PPP: (i turn my head into it and start making out with her. I pull back just as quickly as i moved in)

I don't know who's face was more shocked her or my friends.

PPP: I was actually on my way out but you seem pretty cool. Give me your number and i'll give you a call for those tacos.
HBMEX: Ok
PPP: here, program it in my phone. (i hand her my phone)
HBMEX: (programs her number in my phone and hands it back.)
PPP: (as we start to walk away from each other) give me your hand.
HBMEX: (gives me her hand)
PPP: spin! (i don't know why i made her spin. mostly pointless.)

I continue to walk away with my friends feeling pretty good about myself when my friend looks at me and says...

AFCandy:Dude, i wonder if she has any friends?? We should go back and try and fuck them.
PPP: ummmm...yeah..i probably should have thought about that when i was talking to her. whatev, next time.

That's when i realized i still don't have the closer mindset. My afc buddy was thinking about fucking this chick more than i was. Maybe i was on a roll and i didn't want to blow it by sticking around. I don't really know. Oh well...next time. I've text her twice since..no response....big surprise.

Good going man. I'm a bit tired of partying myself. i went out 7 nights out of 8 last week... I just want to fuckin' chill and let my body recover.

Anyways I made out with a couple of girls.. most of them for my standars 2's, 3's, 4's, 5's.... juck.

Has anyone here had girls bring up the subject of porn? Fark me, I thought they were the ones that DIDN'T enjoy akward moments :p

Yes a lot of girls like to talk about porn, well actually about sex not porn. I've had a couple of girls who watch porn themselves. I know one that makes it lol