MyPUAJourney Forum

I was wondering, girls have lately told me that I am drunk, they say it inbetween when I say "I think you are cute" and the moment we make out. Do you think it might be something about my way of beeing or just a shield?

A real captain also sails the red sea

it takes a brave man to swim in the red river, it takes a hero to drink from it

ROFL mao

hope wrote:I was wondering, girls have lately told me that I am drunk, they say it inbetween when I say "I think you are cute" and the moment we make out. Do you think it might be something about my way of beeing or just a shield?

i've had a few girls ask me how much i've had to drink before in the past in situations where i'm either just having a great time with them or when i'm being a little extra dominant and slightly caveman. i've always smiled a lot and when i'm having a great time, i'll joke around about all sorts of random stuff. it's just my personality. it's somewhat understandable why a girl would ask me how much i've had to drink in certain situations even though usually i'm completely sober. i've only been asked a few times, but i've never perceived it to be anything negative.

i've always kind of viewed it as the girl just simply not being used to such interaction or confidence/dominance. most guys who have a good time like i like to do or who act dominantly with a girl are drunk when they do so. i rarely ever am so they tend to question me to see for sure. i remember one time being asked by a girl that i danced and talked with and when i replied, "i don't drink. i'm just enjoying life," there was an instant change in her attitude - in a good way. it was as if she realized that i was a fun, confident, and rahter sexual guy in reality and that it wasn't the alcohol making me that way.

in short i don't see any problem with being asked this. in fact i may be a good thing.

i went to a crap club last night and the pickings were extremely slim. i told my friends i just wanted to ahve a good time and not focus much on game. i told them i'd do a couple of approaches b/c i owe it to myself, but i wasn't gonna spend too much time on it. either way, there were only four girls in the whole place worth approaching. one was a bartender. another one was friends with every female bartender there it seemed. i don't know if she worked there or what but she was always hanging around them and talking to them. the other two were these hot ass girls who were on the dance floor the entire night.

a while back, i felt like my dance floor game was pretty solid. i was getting consistent make outs on the dance floor with hot girls. ones that were turning down other guys just prior to my approaches. i even had two make outs that took place completely nonverbally in under 5 minutes and a few others that took place in under 10 minutes with a few words exchanged. however at the time, i sucked at approaching off of the dance floor. now i've gotten decent off the dance floor but seem to have lost my touch on the dance floor.

so as much as i hate to admit, i froze when it came to the two hot girls on the dance floor. i couldn't bring myself to do any dance floor game. i just wasn't feeling it. plus without a wing man it's tough to get a girl who's dancing with her friends. i've done it before, but it really comes down to the girl's impressions of you. there isn't much you can do imo but go in with confidence and act like you're just enjoying yourself.

so this left me with two other hot girls. like i said, i wasn't there to run much game, but i couldn't pass on the opportunity, since i didn't run any dance floor game on other two girls.

the one that seemed to be friends with every female bartender caught my eye for some reason. she wasn't really my type at all. the other day on here i went on and on about how i use shortcuts when i'm gaming, but that's usually when there are lots of girls to choose from. my friend agreed. she isn't normally the kind of girl he goes for either, but she was kind of a dirty hot. something about her was keeping my interest. she was shaking her ass next to the bartender and everything. usually i write these girls off in an instant, but not her lol.

[this is a long story. i doubt anyone even reads this, but i'll finish it later either way. it get's pretty good.]

Either way later that night when my friends and I walked passed the bar, the hot bartender started throwing ice at us. I couldn’t just let this happen without saying something. The game I ran on her the whole night wasn’t anything special, but it worked well enough. I talked to her shortly and she said she was bored so she was throwing ice at everyone. I asked her if she wanted to fight and mentioned how she looked like she was having a blast behind the bar. Then she got a line of customers so I left.

A little while later my friends and I spotted an old friend of ours from high school (I’m 22 now, so mind you he’s an old friend who knew me back when I was straight up AFC). He’s a black dude who’s always been a natural. He’s always relied on his looks and excessive confidence. Without these two things I don’t think he’d be that great. I’ve only heard him in set once just briefly during the approach. I wasn’t impressed with his words; he just goes direct every time. Sometimes I wonder what he says though because he’s usually able to stay in set for a good while and the girls seem to enjoy his conversation.Either way he was hitting on the same bartender at the time. She threw another piece of ice at us and the natural friend of mine asked me if I knew her. I just replied with, “yeah, she’s been hitting on me all night.” Her and my old friend laughed. I think that was the first moment my natural friend has ever realized I’ve got “some” game in me. He left and I started talking the bartender again.

Like I said, my game was nothing fantastic and I couldn’t think of anything good to say, so I just asked if she had any kool-aide (for those that don’t know, it’s a drink for kids that you make yourself by pouring a packet of flavored sugar mix into water). She said no and then I asked if she had any Hawaiian punch (a nasty sugary soda). She said no but said she could make something and she did. Then I asked her what her favorite drink was as a kid. I don’t remember the rest of the conversation. I was short.

This is when that hot girl I mentioned earlier came and sat down next to me. It totally caught me off guard. I hadn’t planned on saying anything yet. She came to talk to the bartender too. I got to see her close up, and she was freaking hot. I just asked her if she was causing mischief. She smiled and said no and then asked why. I said she looked like she was nothing but trouble and the laughed and then pulled the bartender into the conversation. It was short but fun. My friend showed up, I talked to him and the hot girl started talking to the bartender about how she hates guys and doesn’t want any kind of relationship, etc. and then left. I figured, no big deal, I left a good impression, she seems to like me, I’ll find her later and close her. Unfortunately I wasn't able to find her. i guess she left. the place isn't that big at all.

Either way at this point I had four other friends there so I decided to have some fun before the place closed. I have two girls on the back burner right now (although they’re cooling down fast lol) so I wasn’t concerned about running anymore game. On my way out of the club I said bye to the bartender and she said have a good night. I was gonna chat with her but she had customers so I said screw it. my friend was still inside and according to him she waved over to talk to her. She handed him a napkin with her number on it and according to my friend her exact words were, “this is for your friend (i.e. me). if he doesn't call he's a pussy.” LOL.

[My adventure for the night doesn’t end there however. I’ll type the rest up later.]

When I first got to the club I got a text from an unknown number that simply said, “hey whats up?” I assumed it was a wrong number since I get them a lot. Either way I responded with, “at a badass party but you’re not invited. We all hate you.”

Then the person replied with, “lol whatever you love me.” followed by “you still single?” 34 minutes later. I still had reason to believe it was a wrong number and I don’t have free text on my phone (I have to pay 10 cents for every single one I send and receive) so I didn’t respond. I was thinking of saying, “I have room for one more. If you’re interested you can fill out an application,” but i didn’t.

When I left the club I decided to call the number and just play around with the girl on the phone pretending to be whoever she thought I was. I was acting real cocky and funny the whole time. this went on for a while and was quite entertaining. she asked me how much I had to drink but I told her I don’t drink anymore. The truth is I do, but I don’t get drunk ever. Then the following conversation took place:

Her: do you even know who I am or when and where we met?
Me: of course I do. Why would I call someone I don’t even know?
Her: what’s my name then?
Me: I’m insulted. You don’t think I know your name?
Her: no
Me: i shouldn’t have to say
Her: oh okay (in a sarcastic voice)
Me: you don’t believe me? do you have trust issues?
Her: no I don’t have trust issues.
Me: do you even know who I am?
Her: yes. This is ryan [This is where I realized it wasn’t a wrong number and that she actually knew me lol. ]
Me: where’d we meet?

She tells me the name of the club and when. Then I suddenly remembered exactly who she was and I told her I knew her first and last name and told her – she had just gotten a new number. That’s when the conversation got a little more serious. it was a girl I had hooked up with at a club near school and got invited to hang out in the hot tub with her and her friends later that night. I also went to her party two days later but I hadn’t spoken to her in a couple of months. She had moved out of state temporarily but is now back.

I went to a theme party at a student pub, that i work in.

the theme was Las Vegas.

I was to be Elvis, and host a "wedding chapel"

the costume was really tight, and i am slim, so it looked good on me.

It was a great night. Because I was a "public" person Girls came all the time an opened me. I got about 10 "proposals" (to get married = a "free" kiss). sadly I had to turn most of them down, seeing as I had so much to do, and to little spare time. But point being, In essence being Elvis was a GIANT peacock costume.

I played my part and got the chanse to turn down many girls (telling them another time, bc I had so much to do).

I would recommend to anyone to say yes to such a job on a theme party.

Hey guys, it's been a while since my first FR thought it was time for a quick update and maybe some advice I realize this is a pretty long post. Anyone with advice to offer, please at least read the portion under the asterisks.

The 9 from my first FR ended up flaking on me, her loss. I sent her 2 texts and called once over the course of a week, maybe two I can't remember. At least I was able to brush it aside and not let it affect me like I would have before.

A week or so after that night I went to a party. I ended up hanging out with 2 cougars I met there the whole time lol. Well, technically they aren't cougars cause they're about 32-35 or so, but whatever. They are dancing and running addicts so they've stayed in shape and actually look better than most 20 somethings. We made plans to go out to a club with one other guy. When we got there the guy just sat at the bar the entire time, I had both of the chicks all over me. One was getting especially close, rubbing her entire body against me, but I didn't take it any further than that since I wasn't sure how she'd react with the other two watching (more importantly, how I'd get her to come home with me alone)... At the end of the night I decided on using her for something else... purposely having her put me in the "lets just be friends zone" so I can use her to introduce me to her friends that might be hotter/younger

I know I went to a couple clubs after that, but can't remember a whole lot. I spent most of August making trips up to New Jersey to visit family. That was awesome, being able to see their reaction to the new me. I've lost a lot of fat and built up a good bit of muscle since the last time they had seen me over a year ago. Not to mention the confidence boost. The best part was when we went to pick up my brother at the airport... I was alone with my nephew and this cute blonde chick walked by. I cant' remember the conversation, I've realized the actual words coming out of my mouth do not matter much, but even my nephew could tell she was going nuts over me. And this girl was HOT, a 9 at the least. My nephew proceeded to tell the rest of my family about how his uncle is "smooth with girls" LOL!

I'll be having an action packed weekend this week. One girl will be coming over on Friday to, in her words, "cuddle and whatever else comes after". On Saturday I'll be at a b-day party for one of the cougars! Looking over the invite list I see far more female names than male... my plan seems to be working bwuahahaha!

I recently started up college again... I'm taking some online courses and one in person. Since the one I do in person is at night, there aren't many girls walking around the building. Between college and my gym routine I've been finding it difficult to find the time to go clubbing more than once a week. I think I'm going to give up the night scene all together and start working on day game... which so far hasn't gone very well for me lol.

*********

Since I haven't been clubbing very much lately, I have been trying to work on my day game. My problem is that I am absolutely horrible at conversations. I rely heavily on body language and touching in clubs, but can't get that close during the day. All of my life until I began this journey I've tried to isolate myself so I've never done much talking, and now it's really starting to show lol. Even when I'm around friends, I can get pretty quiet at times. The confidence is there, I honestly do feel comfortable talking to complete strangers now. I can look at women in the eyes and approach without a problem. When I'm in game mode, I convince myself to truly believe that every girl I see desperately wants me. I'd feel bad if didn't approach, I need to at least give them a chance! Sometimes I'm just on a roll and can talk and talk, but other times I run out of conversation material quickly even when the girls are so obviously throwing lines my way... How would you guys respond to the following:

1) I was at a store buying a jacket and some cologne which was labeled "natural", the cute cashier commented "Oh, so you decided to go all natural huh?" I couldn't think of a fun reply and just chuckled a little....

2) I met this girl that seemed really into me, but my mind was totally blank that day. I started with interview questions in hopes of her bringing up a topic I know about... she mentioned having lived in Colorado and New Mexico. I know nothing about either state... I asked her where she'd like to visit and she mentioned wanting to live in Brazil. Again, blank. I realize now that I could have asked her about what she liked about each place and I could have put her imagination to work for me by asking what she'd like to do in Brazil....

3) I saw this chick at the grocery store. She was dressed in gym clothes so I walked up to her and said "Wow, shopping must really be a workout for you huh", she replied saying she was going to the gym after. It seemed like she was trying to gain my approval and was throwing IOIs my way. But again, my mind went blank and I just laughed and went on about my day.

Blanking out like this can be pretty frustrating when you can tell the girl really wants you to keep going. Well, at least I approached instead of just dreaming about it

@hope I no longer drink when I go clubbing, I find it just slows me down. I no longer need it for fake confidence. But I get asked the same thing "are you drunk? are you high?". I think it depends on how it's said whether it should be interpreted as "you're creeping me out" or "wow I can't believe how comfortable this guy is in his own skin". I just say something stupid like "Yup, I'm high on life" and then I'll snort the air as if I was doing a line of coke lol.

Hey Latin, Congrats on what sounds like some real success! You sound like a completely different guy than the one who came here a while ago.

Regarding your questions, they all seem related to keeping a conversation alive. You claim that you sometimes run out of material, but from what you posted, I don't think you do, but you're not realizing it.

What I mean is you have the questions to ask a woman - in your example you mentioned asking where she'd like to visit as an example, and she came back with something you felt you had no way to use to further the conversation. Here's a couple of thoughts I would offer to help that particular example out, and I think you can use them to solve the other points where you feel this way:

1) Force the girl to expound on her answers. example "Where would you like to visit?" she answers flatly with something like Brazil and the conversation dies. Instead, make her justify the location. You can tease her about it "Brazil? who want's to go there? what's so special about Brazil?" or you can empathize with/compliment her: "Brazil? No one says something like brazil! That's so awesome! Why do you want to go there? What's so special about Brazil?"

In both examples, you're pushing the conversation forward under the auspices of being interested in what she has to say. When she answers, listen to her, and see if there's something you can relate to in her answer. For example, she might say "Well, I have family in Brazil" in which case, you can take the opportunity to DHV by answering something about how important family is to you, and how you can relate because you love visiting your own family etc. etc.

If in her answer, you still can't find something common to relate back to her, then push it forward in a questioning state again if necessary. ie "Family huh? Does you whole family live there? or are you a multi-national kinda girl?"

I think that demonstrates the point, push forward with questions, but always be looking for the opportunity to emote / relate via statements as they're more of an Alpha approach to conversation (you wouldn't "interview" your friends in this manner, so it's best to get out of interview land as quickly as possible via statements to help make things feel more natural to her.)

2) Always be ready to answer your own questions. This is money advice. Oftentimes, a girl who's nervous, or even interested in you, will return your own questions in an effort to do her part in keeping the conversation alive. Always have good / interesting answers for them. With that said, you don't HAVE to wait for her to ask you - A lot of girls won't out of selfishness, nerves, or just plain non-realization of an opportunity. Therefore, you could go this route with the above example:

"Where would you like to visit?" she answers flatly with something like Brazil and the conversation dies. Instead, you interject "Brazil? that's cool. I've always wanted to go to The Grand Cayman. I went there once as a kid, and the beaches were absolutely amazing. The way the tropical sun feels against your skin in an equatorial beach is so incredible! and the water, is so blue and clear you almost feel like you can see straight to the bottom. Have you ever been?"

Using an answer like this does several things. 1) It moves the conversation forward, 2) It shows value (you travel), 3) It shows Value (you're not afraid to express yourself, and what YOU like), 4) It shares an experience you enjoy with her, letting her into your world a little bit - even if superficially, 5) By using descriptive language like that, you put her into the scene. Girls are a lot more in tune with feelings, so by using languaging like the way the sun feels against your skin, you're calling a memory to her that's pleasurable (Who can't identify with that feeling?) and you're beginning to take her on an emotional journey. It's powerful, and helps her to open up and share with you. It may even call a memory back to her that she had forgotten and now she begins to feel that feeling in association with you (don't hold your breath on this one though - you never can count on it)

I'm de-railing, but I do think the above is good advice. The point is if you can answer the question you posed to her, then by answering it, you keep the conversation moving in a natural way that doesn't feel forced, and by answering it in a visceral manner, you begin or maintain the emotional journey.

with response to your numbered questions...

1) I would have said (all natural huh?) "yeah, I don't believe in being fake." but, she may have said Au natural - the term for nude - in which case you could answer "Sure, care to join me?"

2) oops! see the above litany lol!

3) that's a bummer, especially since you work out. But we all have our off days and missed opportunities. No worries!

Regarding the drunk/high thing Hope mentioned, I think insecure women use statements like that to deflect comments they feel unworthy of receiving. Shrug em off and keep going. The fact that you were hit with a statement like that means that the compliment found it's mark and did the job it needed to do.

The best advice I can offer in avoiding that response, is to hit a woman with a compliment that's unique (ie stay clear of "you have beautiful eyes" and the like) use questioning compliments that ask a woman to qualify herself like Mystery does ie "I feel drawn to you for some reason, and that's rare for me. You have to explain this to me, why do I feel so drawn to you?" This method compliments the hell out of the girl (especially if you've already set up a frame where you are the prize), but it avoids her tendency to say things like "Yeah right!" or "Are you drunk/high?" because a) she probably hasn't been complimented like that before and b) depending on if you have attraction or not, she's too busy to think of an answer that qualifies her to throw out the 'you must be drunk' line. and even if she does, you can bring it home by repeating the compliment "No, I'm serious, why am i so drawn to you?"

Hope that helps, keep up the great work!

good FR latin and good luck on the day game stuff. based off what you've written it seems like you're definitely headed in a good direction. once again, qix has some solid advice that i can't really add to. i've noticed in my personal experiences that it's not very uncommon for a girl to not ask questions in return at first. in fact i've had some not ask any for a while yet i've rarely gotten the impression that this is an IOD. when this first started happening i thought in was a sure IOD and was unsure what to do. then i stumbled across some advice qix gave someone a while back and have since then been able to push the conversation forward with much more ease. the easiest way to drive the conversation is to do exactly as qix has stated. the one i've found to work quite well is to simply answer your own questions and, as mentioned, kinda let her into your life. if you DHV your responses and/or add some nice descriptive elements, she's bound to get curious and began asking about you.

Thanks for the replies. Qix, every now and then I read something that perhaps I've read before, but was worded in a way that just makes something in my head click... Reading your post made what is probably one of my biggest problems become obvious... I ask a question and rely 100% on the girl's answer to continue the conversation. If the girl gives me a short answer, I get stuck in the mud.

Rhetoric, yeah I don't really get the impression that a girl not asking questions is an IOD. I've found that the ones that do talk a lot tend to seem kind of slutty, they're usually the ones that will rub up really close to me when dancing. One of the few reasons I dance is to measure how freaky a girl is. Don't think that because I'm latin I can actually dance well, that gene skipped me!!!! I just find other ways to make it fun, and if the girl doesn't go along with it... screw her, I'm done acting like someone I'm not just to get a girl. I think that the ones that don't ask too many questions back just aren't all that experienced when it comes to flirting. I recently started reading women's dating articles that I come across online, and one thing I've noticed is a lot of the fears girls have and the advice the articles give are damn near the same thing this community talks about... with some obvious differences (they don't advise women to act alpha).

Awesome posts from the both of you, thanks!

After reading this post I decided to run down to the gym before responding, and learned a few quick lessons on the way there... I left my apartment and walked over to the elevator and there was this really cute girl waiting on it already. I used my tried and true favorite opener on her... "Hey, how's it going". I knew I didn't have much time, but didn't worry too much because I was sure she'd talk with me in the lobby for a while if she was interested. The elevator came and we got in, she saw my water bottle and asked "Are you going joging?". I pretended to not hear her to see how she'd react since she already apeared slightly nervous and I just find it fun to make girls as nervous as I used to get lol. Also, when someone would make me nervous and then say something that calmed me down I'd feel really good after, much better than if I never felt nervous in the first place. This seems to be the case with some girls as well. So I looked at her with a slightly puzzled look and she started to stutter "Are you going... you know... to that place?"... she even forgot it's called a gym. I said that I hate running, I was going to lift weights. Her face lit up, and she agreed with me and said she prefers weights as well in a really excited voice. She was carrying a big trash bag full of clothes so I was going to start making jokes about having a slumber party, but then the elevator doors open... someone else was getting on. What does my dumbass do? Stay in the same spot I was at! This fat old guy walks in and stands right in between us. I just went quiet after that and made my way to the gym...

The lessons I learned:
1) I need to start caring about what I wear to the gym. I usually don't care what I look like at the gym because I decided that would be the one place besides work where I will not run game. Mainly because I do not want any drama or akwardness in the place I go to so often. But until just now I never thought about the girls I might run into on my way there... I still use the big shirts I used to wear when I was fat. They worked wonderfully back then because they made me look skinnier, now they just make me look scrwany. Not that I'm built like Arnold, but I'm not skin and bones either. Maybe I'm just thinking too into it, but I think that's why she said jog rather than lift weights...

2) If there's a hot chick in an elevator and someone else is going to get in, move next to her!

3) If someone gets in between you anyways, keep talking... it's not like that old guy would have done anything.

I'll redeem myself some other day.

what i have noticed with girls, especially ones that you cold approach, or ones you meet through friends, in a social manner, they tend to be hopeless at maintaining a fun conversation. Maybe cause they are in their heads, thinking why is he talking to me?, etc.

Thats why they can ask some boring interview type questions.

As a man, you have to be the leader, that means you have to lead the conversation, thats what you got to do, take the initiative.



@Latinlover

it looks like you know how to evaluate and know what to do next, that will help you improve.

just stay out of your head, that way you will be prepared for her responses.

I would not even bother about dressing nicely for girls, if am going gym, why do i need to impress her. If you want to dress nicely, dress for your self, for your self respect, not for any girl you meet .

The nervous thing you do by ignoring her is brilliant. What i would do to tweak that, is to not answer her, but say something different, ask a different question. Thus you are controlling the conversation. women do this to guys all the time, this is called stealling the frame.

IF she tries to steal the frame from you by changing the conversation, you should continue with what you were talking about,then ask her a question on what she said.

Best piece of advice is too observe. Use that as a means to start and maintain conversations, and to have sense of humour and tease her.

LatinLover
it seems like you know exactly what you're doing right and wrong. i think the only thing that's holding you back is possibly the lack of enough practice/experience. i still suck at day game, but as far as clubs go, i used to always get stuck in conversation. now that i've had some experience i can usually keep conversation going. in fact i'm gonna write up a day 2 field report in which i basically talked to a girl for an hour in a parking lot.

you're openers are great and that's usually the hardest part. the rest is just knowing how to drive the conversation forward and based off what you've written and what's been written by guys like qix and canibus, you should find yourself getting over this point soon with just more practice.

as far as the gym goes, there are usually a ton of hot girls in the gym, especially college gyms. i get what canibus is saying about not trying to impress anyone with the way you dress, but i've always felt you should present yourself well at all times. i see no need in creating any unnecessary disqualifies. i'm not saying a girl will reject you if you dress bad, but imo it just means you have that much more to work past in the beginning of the conversation. i think it's easier to just have a strong first impression even prior to talking. i'm not saying you should dress really nice, but at least make sure you smell decent and wear form fitting clothes. clothes should compliment your physique. i don't peacock beyond that really, but even at the gym i like to look presentable (by the standards of the venue. i not gonna wear slacks to a gym or even bother fixing my hair)

the tweak canibus mentioned is great stuff. one example of something somewhat similar i did was when a girl asked me if i ever went rock climbing. i ignored her, continued talking about something and then a few seconds later, i asked her if she ever went rock climbing. i thought it was quite humorous.