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Social circle

For all those silly questions.

Social circle

Postby Soil on Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:07 am

Now i have a question how to change social circle or just totally escape from it to find a better one. I mean my social circle narrowed drastically when i moved to canada to about ppl from work. And yet not enough ppl from school (college). I want to live a nice life what i mean by that is have a great friends for life and death and meet gorgeus woman and party from time to time not like 3 times a week but around once a week.

Ps. Im stuck in my social circle and I have no clue what to do or how change it. Because at work I'm stuck with feat. that I'm a nice boring guy, who is saying only hello and its afraid to hang out with ppl ( :( ) although im not the same person anymore I mean people starts to hang out with me etc but still I need something ice breaking to show them that Im not fucking boring rock climber who reads books and play computer games. I need flavor into my life. How to change my small social circle into big and nice one with good friends.
I have come to save the day
And I won't leave until I'm done
So that's why you've got to try
You got to breath and have some fun
Though I'm not paid I play this game
And I won't stop until I'm done
Soil
 
Posts: 43
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2009 8:52 pm
Location: Mississauga

Postby ShaMaN on Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:14 am

This is an interesting question, and I would love to see someone respond with a comprehensive answer.

I can't really say, as it isn't a feat I've tried myself, but If i may theory craft for just a moment.

Bring Value to your interactions, find people you want to populate your social circle with, and if they are men, be the one who always has the hook up on hot girls, or bangin' parties. If they're women, well one they should want to be around you cuz u got game. and two, they would also appreciate the hookup on good parties.

Ultimately if you bring value to your relationships those relationships will be strengthened, like a tree in the sunshine.
-Impossible, is nothing
ShaMaN
 
Posts: 62
Joined: Sun Sep 21, 2008 12:44 pm
Location: Mississauga, ON

Postby canibus1990 on Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:34 am

there are loads of info on developing your social circle.

Most of the time, it is about being friendly, interested and fun and curious about them with everyone. I do this with anyone, regardlesss if am gaming them or not. The only diffeerence is that once i know i want to have sex with them i will escalate (verbally and physically).

Join new groups - do new hobbies or classes. If at college take a language class, or join a soccer team.

always invite people you know to things you are doing. so if you are doing something with a friend or even by yourself, invite a guy from work.

Always say hi, and talk a little a bit with everyone you meet on a regular occassion. remember be curious, find out about them.

Always assume rapport with everyone. act like you have always been friends with that person.

once you have friends, always keep in touch, to see how they are doing.

***Major point***
Friends will come and go, it takes time to build friendships. It takes effort as well to maintain it. that is why women are so good at it. While guys are off doing what they want, they build and maintatin relationships.

If you want to find out how to be good social networker, ask and watch women, they are born to do it. It is their strength.

women are always talking with friends, discussing other firends with firends, on msn a lot, texting alot, out with their girlfriends. Not all this is for men in their lives.
canibus1990
 
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:55 am

Postby canibus1990 on Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:48 am

there are loads of info on developing your social circle.

Most of the time, it is about being friendly, interested and fun and curious about them with everyone. I do this with anyone, regardlesss if am gaming them or not. The only diffeerence is that once i know i want to have sex with them i will escalate (verbally and physically).

Join new groups - do new hobbies or classes. If at college take a language class, or join a soccer team.

always invite people you know to things you are doing. so if you are doing something with a friend or even by yourself, invite a guy from work.

Always say hi, and talk a little a bit with everyone you meet on a regular occassion. remember be curious, find out about them.

Always assume rapport with everyone. act like you have always been friends with that person.

once you have friends, always keep in touch, to see how they are doing.

***Major point***
Friends will come and go, it takes time to build friendships. It takes effort as well to maintain it. that is why women are so good at it. While guys are off doing what they want, they build and maintatin relationships.

If you want to find out how to be good social networker, ask and watch women, they are born to do it. It is their strength.

women are always talking with friends, discussing other firends with firends, on msn a lot, texting alot, out with their girlfriends. Not all this is for men in their lives.
canibus1990
 
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:55 am

Postby Shirley Knobsgood on Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:39 am

I've got several social circles I'd say I was a part of but not one of me own anymore really, not one I've created, that's sumat I'm interestin in creatin though.


Generally when I wana do sumat I do one of two things.

I decide what I wana do and ask the appropriate person or people if they'd like to join.

Or ask what people are doin and join.


Generally, I don't do what cannibus does, I don't make friends with everyone, some people I'm apathetic with or dismissive of cos I don't care much for them and if I actively dislike someone, chances are I'm gona be outright unpleasant to em. I don't see the point in feignin interest in people I ave no actual interest in. There's gota be sumat I want out of it, friendship or a relationship or social proof etc.

I'm quite picky with me friends. There was a quote I heard somewhere, it might ave even been on ere, maybe qix or someone. 'Before I let someone in my life, I think 'would I like to be more like this person?'' Again, duno where that came from exactly, but really does sum it up doesn't it.


Practical advice though, if you give value to situations people will probably wana be around you but if you don't ave the skills or confidence to do that yet, give value to yourself instead. Don't look to make friends, look to do what you want and invite people along who you think might improve that experience for you.
Shirley Knobsgood
 
Posts: 148
Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:45 pm

Postby qixsilver on Tue Mar 10, 2009 1:17 pm

AS always, great info Cani and Shirley. Changing your social circle isn't so tough. Simply telling your current social circle "no" to after work things will kill that social circle - if you want to. But it's far easier (and better imho) to simply develop a second social circle. Take a class, go to a gym, anything really - by yourself. Become a regular there (go to the gym a lot, attend the class etc.) and make new friends there. As long as you never mix the two groups of friends then you successfully have 2 social circles. Hang with the one that's suitable for your needs (ie a party social circle vs a work one.
qixsilver
 
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Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2008 3:17 pm

Postby P_Cock on Mon Mar 16, 2009 12:58 am

I say this in every post that I'm a bit young so my answer may not comply with your situation

But a quote somewhere said that the best way to make ennemies is by changing something. I'm not saying go out and make a new ennemy but it means that not everyone is gonna like you when you change. You just gotta live with it. Frankly I'm constantly changing "for the better". If the people that dont like it dont, then screw em, I'm doing this for me.

Point is you cant be afraid to create unease around people.

Second point is that in our society another form of currency is women. First conquer them, then when you talk to your work buddies the next day and they ask "what did you do last night?" you down right tell em (in a not too cocky/jock manner of course). In time you'll find that your friends will start to weed themselves out or start following you. If the people bother you then you can pick someone whos chill & make yourself scarce from the chodes.

Point is once you got the women, you got the currency. Again as you meet new people and tell them "what you did the other week" (again dont sound like a jock when you say it) they'll start weeding themselves out. Then invite them for a nigth out or two.

Just my thoughts
P_Cock
 
Posts: 60
Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 7:13 pm

Postby canibus1990 on Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:49 am

I agree with the general idea of what p_cock is saying. That when you change, some people will not like it. Some of those will fear you, some will envy you, some will hate you. why? cause things have changed, you are out of the comfort zone, you have changed the social equilibirum (i should copyright that name :-)). People dont like change - well people who are not successful in life - including careers, self goals, women etc.

I believe this is what politics is all about- the best politician is the ones who can manage to keep a lot of people in his social circle, while maintain respect, and influence with them. basically gaining and maintain power, in any circumstance.

point am making is that, i never blatently go out of m way to lose friends, rather, i make as many friends and acquientances as possible, and try and keep contact with them all. I know about them, i find out what they do, hobbies, skills, passions etc. that way I can help them, or they can help me or they could help another person i might know.

If you want to make friends, you will always have people who dont like you. cause of different opinions and beliefs.

If you be the best person you can be, and have fun and be interesting, playful, exciting, positive, optimisitc. most people will want to be wit you. there willl be those who dont, but those guys you dont want to be with.

The idea of risk taking, is the point of moving out of your comfort zone. the more you risk take the more comfortable you are at pushing your self and experiencing new things and achieving your goals. remember that, achieving a goal, is moving out of your comfort zone. thus the more risk taking, the more comfortable you are with it, then the more confident you get.

IF you know people who are disrespectful or try and derail you life - either mentally, or emotional. then you will have to leave them. remember as long as you dont make enemies of people yo regurlary see, it you life will be alright and social circles will be cool.
canibus1990
 
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:55 am

Postby canibus1990 on Fri Mar 27, 2009 9:38 am

Idea that heard, is if you want to increase your social circle, is too organise events, like parties, or work dinner or drinks, day out. You start off small, and invite as many people. you get loads of social proof. you could even organise an event at a club or bar, and tell people to invite their friends etc.
canibus1990
 
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